FilesNews - Scoop: Inside the Train 10 replies

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Serio VIP Member

The Dane

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11th November 2006

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#1 6 months ago


Here at FilesNews, we are proud of being the number one independent source of news in the Great State of GameFront. We're proud of our network of contacts, we're proud of our journalistic integrity, and we're proud of our tradition of inserting lewd jokes into our articles. So when an anonymous man dropped off a tape at our offices yesterday, we were very intrigued - and subsequently surprised - to find out what was on it.


A LIFE OF LIES


Yes, dear readers. In this special edition of FilesNews, we're going to be bringing you a shocking revelation regarding one of your administrators. It will blow the "Red Menace - A Capitalist At Heart" revelation from 1877 out of the waters and into the sky. This bombshell will displace the water entirely and leave only a dry desert in its place.


For the sake of anonymity - and to keep you in suspense - we will be using the pseudonym Donny Kong to refer to our subject.


Donny Kong was born in Exeter in 1780 to Gertha Güdfoker, Nils Bumfoker, and Dick Pierson. The immaculate birth took place under crossing near Swinger's Street, and was said to occur under Ansaldo's Comet as it passed overhead.


Mr. Kong had a relatively normal youth. He attended the Exeter Academy for Advanced Academic Accumulation, and had a brief stint as a writer for the Trainsylvanian Times. At the age of 32½, Kong was hired as a spokesperson for AnsaldoBreda - a glorious train company from Italy, specialising in single use death traps that masquerade as public transport vehicles.


A LOVE AFFAIR


Scholars have dug out numerous documents and love letters from Mr. Kong and his boss' secretary, Miss Takhe. In them, they appear to have used various innuendo and double meanings to hide their blossoming romance from the King's Eyes.


But in 1703, their romance became public when Donny Kong was caught attempting to inseminate Miss Takhe - who was, it should be noted, one of the trains at AnsaldoBreda - and was sent off to the Exeter Asylum for the Criminally Bald.


LOVE NEVER DIES


Despite his incarceration at the asylum, Mr. Kong's desire for trains never quite ceased. In 1620 - five years after his release from the asylum - he dated an InterCity train that was visiting from Croatia. The relationship eventually turned to a full on marriage, and InterCity Kong later gave birth to numerous trams.


Unfortunately, Mr. Kong never found satisfaction in domestic life, and he soon parted ways with his family. He soon went on to work for his father's company, the Bumfoker Trains, who had acquired his old company in the time of his stay at the asylum.


But these days, Donny Kong is better known as OfotqJPPFwoUBFrpUPeUHOiiyBQkZGWNhvNtMfVp.gif@FileTrekker  - a name that refers to the way he filed down his teeth to look like train treks.




Andron Taps Forum Mod

Faktrl is Best Pony

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10th September 2007

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#2 6 months ago

I never knew...


"I'd shush her zephyr." ~ Zephyr.



Serio VIP Member

The Dane

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#3 6 months ago

We're all very shocked to learn of his debauched past.




RadioactiveLobster Forum Admin

Jeff is a mean boss

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28th July 2002

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#4 6 months ago

I'm not sure that's now time works.


If there is no image, Mikey broke something...



Lindale Forum Mod

Mister Angry Rules Guy

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1st February 2010

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#5 6 months ago

If you have a TARDIS, time is no match for you.


filesnation_by_lindale_ff-da1kplo.png



Serio VIP Member

The Dane

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#6 6 months ago
Posted by RadioActiveLobster

I'm not sure that's now time works.

I assure you it's how time works.




Andron Taps Forum Mod

Faktrl is Best Pony

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10th September 2007

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#7 6 months ago

Serio is a history major, and every historian understands the finer points of quantum mechanics.


"I'd shush her zephyr." ~ Zephyr.



FileTrekker Über Admin

I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons.

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15th December 2002

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#8 6 months ago

You can tell 3vPybAlfwEnLFi6iEcf3rKP23CuBPS29LujLRPja.gif@Serio  made this story up.

It's Hooker's Street, not Swinger's Street.


Danny King | Community Manager | GameFront.com



Serio VIP Member

The Dane

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#9 6 months ago

FILETREKKER COMMENTS


Confirms story as true




Mikey Über Admin

Caffiene Fuelled Ravings of an undiagnosed Sociopath.

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13th June 2008

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#10 6 months ago
Posted by Serio

FILETREKKER COMMENTS


Confirms story as true

!!!


Mikey - GameFront.com - Lead Developer



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