WoT Humour Site! For those that've read the WoT series, you'll know what these mean. :p Just a quote:
You Might Be Addicted To WoT If...
... you accuse that Tolkien guy of ripping off The Eye of the World. ... you ever think with the hair on your chest. (males only) ... you have a "Whitecloaks Suck!" bumper sticker on your car. ... your Web server's name is "saidin." ... you have ever said "Blood and bloody ashes!" ... while checking in at the Motel 6 you offer to juggle and play a flute in the bar in return for a room and some food. ... you refer to chopsticks as "sursa" or coffee as "kaf." ... you have ever "sniffed." (females only) ... your laptop's name is "gholam." ... you have ever tried to channel the One Power. ... you have ever commented that someone has "well turned calves." ... you have named your "sword that is not a sword" Callandor. ... you get a dog and name it Hopper. ... you dream that you are in Tel’aran’rhiod. ... the worst insult you can think of to call someone is a goat-kissing Trolloc. ... you have ever said "The Wheel weaves as the Wheel wills..." to a friend who was complaining. ... you call your chair the Amyrlin Seat. ... you call your posterior the Amyrlin Seat. ... you have ever played Foxes and Snakes. ... you walk into the local bookstore and are told immediately upon entering, "No, it’s not here yet." ... you have ever called someone a "woolhead." ... you have ever scratched the Dragon’s Fang into a neighbor’s door. ... you would do better on a geographic pop quiz of Randland than your home country. ... you get angry when people don't understand your obscure WoT references. ... you maintain a huge website related to WoT. ... you wonder if Pokemon can channel. ... you talk to wolves in the zoo and expect them to answer you. ... the wolves do answer you. ... your significant other had their name legally changed to a WoT name so they can finally get a little attention. ... you have taken the Three Oaths. ... you claim to speak two languages - the other being the Old Tongue. ... you blow every horn you can find, hoping one will be the Horn of Valere. ... you have Robert Jordan’s DNA and a cloning machine, just in case. ... you refuse to stay at a hotel if the manager is skinny. ... you were amazed at how busy the Illuminators must have been last New Year. ... you keep an axe and a hammer under your bed and wake up every morning wondering which you should choose. ... you have reserved space in your bookcase for eight or nine more WoT books, just to be sure you have left enough room. ... you refer to police officers as thiefcatchers. ... you quote WoT in everyday conversation. ... you dream of being tied to the Wheel, to be spun out time and time again. ... you refer to your in-laws as "the Forsaken." ... you can quote page numbers for your favorite WoT theories without opening the books. ... you post so often on WoT message boards that your friends and family have to respond to your messages to get your attention. ... your last history term paper mentioned the Age of Legends. ... the last time you felt your skin tingle, you looked around to see who was channeling. ... you blame your teenage son for natural disasters because you believe the he can channel. ... you have an old kitchen knife you claim came from Shadar Logoth. ... you quit school to go train at Tar Valon. (females only) ... you frequently call the Pentagon to warn about impending Seanchan invasions. ... while most people report sightings of Elvis, you could have sworn you saw Artur Hawkwing at K-Mart last night. ... you refer to nonsense as "Coplin talk." ... you choose to sheath the sword upon learning of a pop quiz in your calculus class. ... you make sure your will is in order every night before going to sleep, just in case. ... your car is named "Bela." ... when reading Shakespeare's "Julius Caesar" you cannot help but wonder if "Let Slip the Dogs of War" is referring to the Wild Hunt. ... you enter a Ter'angreal into the Science Fair. ... you refer to your professors as "The Forsaken." ... you refuse to speak the name of the Dean, believing that it will call down great evil upon you. ... you scrawled the Dragon's Fang on the door to the cafeteria. ... you dream of a man with fire for eyes and wake up with strange marks on your body. ... you spend hours at music stores, not sure which song you are trying to find. ... YOU TRY TO TALK IN ALL CAPITALS. ... you think the girl/guy you sit next to in history class is Lanfear/Rahvin. ... you pledge a sorrority, and pretend you're a novice. ... you speak to your friends in the Old Tongue when you don't want anyone else to know what you're saying. ... you strongly consider naming your first born son Rand. ... you start howling at the moon and telling anyone who inquires that you are a "wolfbrother/sister". ... the words figs and mice come up when you are trying to threaten someone. ... you sit around and think about what Ajah all your friends would be. ... you do stuff that scares you on purpose "in case I'm ever tested for Accepted". ... you call your rifle a shock lance. ... you concentrate on everything when you enter a room to make sure there are no gray men. ... you mumble "Bloody Daes Dae'mar" during every political event on television. ... you are intent on naming at least one of your children after a book charachter. ... your drunk buddy says "Come on, I'll drive," and the FLAMING DICE START SPINNING IN YOUR HEAD! ... at night you tell your friends the story of the destruction of Manetheren. ... you refuse to buy a new dresser because you can't find one made of sung wood. ... you measure things in hides. ... you secretly practice the sword forms, even though you don't know what they look like, with a broomstick. ... Artur Hawking appears on PBS, and you start yelling, 'The Return is coming! The Return is coming!" ... on questionnaires, when asked for you age, you give the date you got your sword. ... you order a double oosquai on the rocks at the local bar. ... you ask your wife or girlfriend if she would like to have a sister-wife. ... Pizza Hut has to continually remind you that they do not offer ice peppers as a topping. ... You ask every girl you go out with if she's the Daughter of the Nine Moons. ... she says yes and, after tying and gagging her, tell everyone you're married to her. ... You like to call your boyfriend "My little duckling."
46 and 2, are just ahead of me
23rd September 2004
:lurk: I'll read it later, its 2:00 in the morning right now.
The cream of the crop
19th August 2003
didnt read it all... ahhaa. good times though.
never read the series so i didn't bother with the quotes. may read it after i re-read the hitch hikers guide to the galaxy 'trilogy.'
Lol, some actually funny stuff in there.