Funny Bash Quotes 29 replies

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Tango Protocol

Master of my own domain

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18th July 2003

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#1 12 years ago

Here are some funny bash.org quotes

Bash.org is a website where users submit funny quotes that are made on IRC servers

Warning: Potentially Offensive Content is in Spoiler

Spoiler: Show
t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right BlackAdder> i believe i speak for all of us when i say... BlackAdder> WRONG BTICH BlackAdder> IM SICK OF YOU BlackAdder> AND YOUR LAME STORIES BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE THINKS YOURE FUNNY BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STORIES BlackAdder> IN FACT BlackAdder> IF YOU DIED RIGHT NOW BlackAdder> I DON"T THINK NOBODY WOULD CARE BlackAdder> SO WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT FAG *** t0rbad sets mode: +b BlackAdder*!*@*.* *** BlackAdder has been kicked my t0rbad ( ) t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right CRCError> right heartless> Right. r3v> right
YOU ALL SUCK DICK er. hi. A common typo. the keys are like right next to each other.
oh man I was opening a coke, right --> Beefpile (~mbeefpile@cloaked.wi.rr.com) has joined #themacmind and it exploded ALMOST all over my keyboard but I got it away just in time <-- Beefpile has quit (sick fuckers) :<
Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word "wand" with "wang" in the first Harry Potter Book Let's see the results... "Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry. "Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an' everything A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to. "Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work." "Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. " Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls "Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!" The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils. He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue. He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them. Ok I have found, definitive proof that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a fool of us all "Yes," Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding.... Any second now, he might hear his mother again... but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn't want to... or did he? O_______O Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip. 'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.
what should I give sister for unzipping? Um. Ten bucks? no I mean like, WinZip?
I want to fuck Michelle's brains out with my huge fucking cock, over and over again .. and then her sister can come and join us too. Err turno, your mom reads the quotes on bash.org? I'll fucking KILL YOU! ! Your mom does work for the church ? If she reads what you just said she'd be pretty angry right? Dude you have no fucking clue, don't seriously... you'd be ruining my life. Don't worry, I won't post it. [Privmsg] Hey dude, I'm gonna paste something - will you post it on bash.org? [Privmsg] the turno thing? haha you fucking bastard!! [Privmsg] hehe his mom's gonna fucking kill him, drag him to that church they go to and get the priest to sodomise him. [Privmsg] yeah and then he's gonna come fucking kill us, still I reckon it's worth it;) [Privmsg] You're not gonna post it are you ? Please don't .. I'm begging you. [Privmsg] I'm not gonna post it:) and even if I did she'd never know that your nick turno was her son Michael Savu . [Privmsg] *phew* spose you have a point
[01:33] (hilo21) ima looking for a site that seels amp [01:33] (hilo21) ima looking for a site that seels amps [01:33] (hilo21) iam looking for a site that seels amps [01:34] (hilo21) I am looking for a site that sells amps [01:35] (nexxai) how bout you look for a site that teaches english? [01:35] (hilo21) fuck you [01:36] (nexxai) Lemme guess, you'd kick my ass, but can't read the road signs to get to my house?
* Porter is now known as PorterWITHGIRLFRIENDWHOISHOT he shot his girlfriend?
* SBR_Scythe tosses RSFS_Cheif a Coke a sprite for me scythe Hey Scythe, I'll have a cock oh my god I'm never going to live that one down am I? nope
<@toe2toe> only time a user has ever cried with me was when she had zonealarm set to ultra-annoy-user-at-every-oppurtunity mode on <@toe2toe> and basically, her nortons was so locked down <@toe2toe> everytime she tried to get her mail <@toe2toe> and our server tried to send it to her <@toe2toe> she thought she was getting hacked <@Starfire> the best option i have found in ZA configs is the uninstall one <@toe2toe> and when i told her she wasnt, she thought that some people are harrasing her, and demanded to know why i refused to call the police about it :> <@Starfire> because its not your job to call the police <@Starfire> i would have given her police number <@Starfire> and told her to follow it up post haste! <@toe2toe> and say what <@toe2toe> "hi, im getting hacked on my computer from a guy called "local host"
What shape is a gamecube?

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Cloak Raider

Awkward...

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12th March 2006

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#2 12 years ago

How do you get the spoiler again? I have forgotten...




-Ghost-

Phantom of the Forums

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19th August 2003

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#3 12 years ago

[SPOILER] [ /SPOILER] Without the space.




Cloak Raider

Awkward...

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12th March 2006

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#4 12 years ago
Spoiler: Show
if i cloned myself, changed the y chromosome to an x chromosome, and then had sex with her, would it be masturbation, or incest? I think itd be illegal in 13 states, is what it would be. -{dn}- I think it would mean you seriously need a girlfriend i get the feeling i just earned a new wb



Cloak Raider

Awkward...

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12th March 2006

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#5 12 years ago

O man I just have to show you guys this one

Spoiler: Show
lol I download something from Napster And the same guy I downloaded it from starts downloading it from me when I'm done I message him and say "What are you doing? I just got that from you" "getting my song back fucker"



rebornintheglory

keyboard warrior

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20th January 2006

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#6 12 years ago

:lolpoint:




Cloak Raider

Awkward...

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12th March 2006

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#7 12 years ago

This isn't rude so I don't have to spoiler it Spin: arrrr, pirates of the south west Spin: thar be large pipes o'bandwith near ye'ol univarsety. Pirate: yearg, ye may be an ta somethan thar. Spin: what say ye we pull yonder USB hard disk longside yonder NMSU puter and begin tha lutin and plunderin. Pirate: yearg. The master done gaved me a testin machine with a grand ol CDR. Pirate: Avast! Pirate: MP3s off the starboard bow! Spin: stere clear of ye porn pop ups rollin in from tha east. Pirate: I have mah trusty Opera browsa to help me fend em off. Spin: encrypt the data holds, batton down thar security patches, argh thar be spyware abound.




KingSpicer

I follow teh Moo!

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16th November 2005

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#8 12 years ago
Spoiler: Show

Ayreon: Vex, do you have a scar on your penis? vexingthoughts: no Ayreon: But you're a jew :confused: vexingthoughts: it's not a scar Ayreon: What's it then? vexingthoughts: well not how one would traditionally think of a scar vexingthoughts: just looks like skin vexingthoughts: that's all vexingthoughts: little more red but that's it Ayreon: So it's still a scar :- vexingthoughts: maybe vexingthoughts: i dont know Ayreon: How could you let them do that to the little guy? vexingthoughts: i dont know maybe because i was like 8 days old vexingthoughts: literally Ayreon: You were a man when you were born right? vexingthoughts: i had to be vexingthoughts: default gender is woman Ayreon: How could you let them do that to the little guy?] vexingthoughts: I WAS 8 DAYS OLD vexingthoughts: I COULDN'T EVEN BABBLE Ayreon: You were still a guy! vexingthoughts: NOT EVEN RANDOM VOWEL SOUNDS vexingthoughts: MY BRAIN WASN'T EVEN FINISHED DEVELOPING vexingthoughts: I HAD A SOFT SKULL vexingthoughts: the only way i could have been less capable of stopping the circumcision would have been for me to still have been in the womb Ayreon: You could have strung them up with your umthingy cord. vexingthoughts: yes that's right vexingthoughts: my umbilical cord Ayreon: That one. vexingthoughts: how could i have been so stupid vexingthoughts: oh yeah that's right i was just 1 week old Ayreon: And now you've got the scar to prove it. vexingthoughts: there are chimpanzees who are smarter than i was at 8 days old Ayreon: There are chimpanzees who are smarter than you are now, your point is? vexingthoughts: my point is that in a minute i'm gonna have evidence that i chopped off your dutchy head Ayreon: Hey now, you're the one with the chopped head. vexingthoughts: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH vexingthoughts: DIE!!!! Ayreon: Whoa, when they cut your penis, did they put in ovaries in exchange?

metric system is better anyways werd inches are gay your just mad cause you dont have many of them nick

if I was a mom I wouldn't be anti-porn my dad takes the 'well at least he's not gay' position eva: yeah, the jokes on him shut up fag IM NOT GAY



FlyGuy45

*TRA* Spsk. Pilotka VVS

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22nd June 2005

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#9 12 years ago

I suck dick, waht wwas it suppose tos ay?




rebornintheglory

keyboard warrior

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20th January 2006

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#10 12 years ago

I like ducks. :nodding: