God is a Programmer... 10 replies

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Flash525

The Carbon Comrade

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14th July 2004

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#1 13 years ago

[COLOR=red]Theological Questions & Answers that show God is a programmer:[/COLOR] [COLOR=royalblue]Q: Does God control everything that happens in my life?[/COLOR] [COLOR=royalblue]A: He could, if he used the debugger, but it's tedious to step through all those variables.[/COLOR] [COLOR=royalblue]Q: Why does God allow evil to happen?[/COLOR] [COLOR=royalblue]A: God thought he eliminated evil in one of the earlier versions.[/COLOR] [COLOR=royalblue]Q: What causes God to intervene in earthly affairs?[/COLOR] [COLOR=royalblue]A: If a critical error occurs, the system pages him automatically and he logs on from home to try to bring it up. Otherwise things can wait until tomorrow.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=royalblue]Q: Did God really create the world in seven days?[/COLOR] [COLOR=royalblue]A: He did it in six days and nights while living on cola and candy bars. On the seventh day he went home and found out his girlfriend had left him.[/COLOR] [COLOR=royalblue]Q: How come the Age of Miracles Ended?[/COLOR] [COLOR=royalblue]A: That was the development phase of the project, now we are in the maintenance phase.[/COLOR] [COLOR=royalblue]Q: Who is Satan?[/COLOR] [COLOR=royalblue]A: Satan is a MIS director who takes credit for more powers than he actually possesses, so people who aren't programmers are scared of him. God thinks of him as irritating but irrelevant.[/COLOR] [COLOR=royalblue]Q: What is the role of sinners?[/COLOR] [COLOR=royalblue]A: Sinners are the people who find new an imaginative ways to mess up the system when God has made it idiot-proof.[/COLOR] [COLOR=royalblue]Q: Where will I go after I die?[/COLOR] [COLOR=royalblue]A: Onto a DAT tape.[/COLOR] [COLOR=royalblue]Q: Will I be reincarnated?[/COLOR] [COLOR=royalblue]A: Not unless there is a special need to recreate you. And searching those .tar files is a major hassle, so if there is a request for you, God will just say that the tape has been lost.[/COLOR] [COLOR=royalblue]Q: Am I unique and special in the universe?[/COLOR] [COLOR=royalblue]A: There are over 10,000 major university and corporate sites running exact duplicates of you in the present release version.[/COLOR] [COLOR=royalblue]Q: What is the purpose of the universe?[/COLOR] [COLOR=royalblue]A: God created it because he values elegance and simplicity, but then the users and managers demanded he tack all this senseless stuff onto it and now everything is more complicated and expensive than ever.[/COLOR] [COLOR=royalblue]Q: If I pray to God, will he listen?[/COLOR] [COLOR=royalblue]A: You can waste his time telling him what to do, or you can just get off his back and let him program.[/COLOR] [COLOR=royalblue]Q: What is the one true religion?[/COLOR] [COLOR=royalblue]A: All systems have their advantages and disadvantages, so just pick the one that best suits your needs and don't let anyone put you down.[/COLOR] [COLOR=royalblue]Q: How can I protect myself from evil?[/COLOR] [COLOR=royalblue]A: Change your password every month and don't make it a name, a common word, or a date like your birthday.[/COLOR] [COLOR=royalblue]Q: Some people claim they hear the voice of God. Is this true?[/COLOR] [COLOR=royalblue]A: They are much more likely to receive email.[/COLOR] [COLOR=royalblue]Taken From:[/COLOR] [COLOR=gray]SODWORK.com[/COLOR]




Guest

I didn't make it!

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#2 13 years ago

look at your rep hehehe




ToXiC Hawk

C'mon! Have a brain!

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6th December 2004

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#3 13 years ago

:uhm:




Guest

I didn't make it!

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#4 13 years ago

:dance:




Rammelslakje (NL)

This place is too short

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22nd July 2005

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#5 13 years ago

:uhm:




Crimmond

King of Kings

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22nd August 2004

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#6 13 years ago

So where does the Bible and the Koran and the Tora(probably spelt wrong) and teh rest of them fit in? Different versions of a user manual?




Flash525

The Carbon Comrade

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14th July 2004

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#7 13 years ago
evilempirelook at your rep hehehe[/quote]Cheers :D [quote=Crimmond]So where does the Bible and the Koran and the Tora(probably spelt wrong) and teh rest of them fit in? Different versions of a user manual?

Maybe different languages :p




Guest

I didn't make it!

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#8 13 years ago
SupaStarAshCheers :D

cough

:naughty:




SwiftGuard

LOL SILLY NAME IS SILLY

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3rd April 2005

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#9 13 years ago

Lol... I think... :lookaround:




Flash525

The Carbon Comrade

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14th July 2004

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#10 13 years ago
evilempirecough :naughty:

Something in your throat? :p




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