Help- I Burned My Girlfriends Cooter 217 replies

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Guest

I didn't make it!

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#1 12 years ago

ok this is what happening, my parents are out with family friends, and theyll be back any minute so i need your help see, i volunteer on my sister's softball team (im 22 the girls are 15) and whatever, i met this girl, her name is Alison, and were going out for a while. We have a lot in common, and sometimes i help her with homework. i helped her with her english essay and she still got a D... this is because her teacher is a prick... anywayz so she came over like an hour ago, and i really want to lose my virginity, so i ask her to have sex "no no i cant, its not right" she said, but i told her "dont worry, i know what im doing, ill be done in like 10 seconds, plus ill give you 2 n64 games if you say yes." So then I gave her Diddy Kong Racing and Ken Griffy Jr. Baseball and we went up to my room. she is a bit confused and scared. then i think to myself- yo i need lube, right? cuz i heard other people saying you need to lube up her clit otherwise it wont fit in properly. ok so i have no lube, but i really want to lose my virginity, so i grab some butter from the fridge, but its cold and it wont melt, so i microwaved it for 8 minutes and i put it in a glass and poured it on her cooter, and now shes saying i burned it. i dont know what to do, my parents are going to be back any minute and shes crying in the bathroom plz help you guys are really smart please help me. any idea how to shut her up? should i give her another n64 game?




Guns4Hire

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#2 12 years ago

am I this drunk?




Phoenix_22 VIP Member

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#3 12 years ago

*Moved to the pub*

wsslok this is what happening, my parents are out with family friends, and theyll be back any minute so i need your help see, i volunteer on my sister's softball team (im 22 the girls are 15) and whatever, i met this girl, her name is Alison, and were going out for a while. We have a lot in common, and sometimes i help her with homework. i helped her with her english essay and she still got a D... this is because her teacher is a prick... anywayz so she came over like an hour ago, and i really want to lose my virginity, so i ask her to have sex

Whoa! Hey, no one said there would be any sex with minors going on.:uhoh:

"no no i cant, its not right" she said, but i told her "dont worry, i know what im doing, ill be done in like 10 seconds, plus ill give you 2 n64 games if you say yes."

Sounds like rape to me.:uhm:

So then I gave her Diddy Kong Racing and Ken Griffy Jr. Baseball and we went up to my room. she is a bit confused and scared. then i think to myself- yo i need lube, right? cuz i heard other people saying you need to lube up her clit otherwise it wont fit in properly.

Oh noez, a sex thread...

ok so i have no lube, but i really want to lose my virginity, so i grab some butter from the fridge, but its cold and it wont melt, so i microwaved it for 8 minutes and i put it in a glass and poured it on her cooter, and now shes saying i burned it. i dont know what to do, my parents are going to be back any minute and shes crying in the bathroom plz help you guys are really smart please help me. any idea how to shut her up? should i give her another n64 game?

Oh my god no! First off, don't have kids...holy shit...don't have kids. Second, get off of her immediately, she is 15...you are 22 dammit! :mad: You will hate me for saying it, but you are going down the path of a sexual predator. Give her some cream or whatever, or some ice or something. Don't give her another n64 game please. And finally: Get Therapy!!! you can complain and banter at me all you want, but its the truth, get some therapy, break up with her, don't ever ever ever have sex with her, don't lust for her, nothing.




*The.Doctor

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#4 12 years ago

Beef, thats exactly what i was thinking.....




Guns4Hire

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22nd September 2002

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#5 12 years ago

Pour some rubbing alcohol on it, that might cool it off.




Phoenix_22 VIP Member

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#6 12 years ago
├čeefam I this drunk?

I *almost* turned off the computer and walked away...i don't know what kept me here.:lookaround:




Guns4Hire

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#7 12 years ago

He should have used margarine, butter burns too fast.




UNDIESRULES

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#8 12 years ago

This has got to be a wind up.




Guest

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#9 12 years ago

no everybody is about to come into the house, shes screaming cuz her cooter is burning, even after i put iodine and salt in it to try to heal it plz guys how do i shut her up?




Aeroflot

I would die without GF

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2nd May 2003

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#10 12 years ago
wsslok this is what happening,

my parents are out with family friends, and theyll be back any minute so i need your help

see, i volunteer on my sister's softball team (im 22 the girls are 15)

and whatever, i met this girl, her name is Alison, and were going out for a while. We have a lot in common, and sometimes i help her with homework. i helped her with her english essay and she still got a D... this is because her teacher is a prick... anywayz

so she came over like an hour ago, and i really want to lose my virginity, so i ask her to have sex

"no no i cant, its not right" she said, but i told her "dont worry, i know what im doing, ill be done in like 10 seconds, plus ill give you 2 n64 games if you say yes."

So then I gave her Diddy Kong Racing and Ken Griffy Jr. Baseball and we went up to my room. she is a bit confused and scared.

then i think to myself- yo i need lube, right? cuz i heard other people saying you need to lube up her clit otherwise it wont fit in properly.

ok so i have no lube, but i really want to lose my virginity, so i grab some butter from the fridge, but its cold and it wont melt, so i microwaved it for 8 minutes and i put it in a glass and poured it on her cooter, and now shes saying i burned it.

i dont know what to do, my parents are going to be back any minute and shes crying in the bathroom plz help you guys are really smart please help me.

any idea how to shut her up? should i give her another n64 game?[/QUOTE]

:beamme:

It's none of my business to know what you do in your bedroom. So I'm not going to comment on the.. strangeness of your post. I havn't been in any situation like yours, ever, but I would try and appologize and tell her she's going to be ok. Just console her.


[quote=beef]Am I this drunk?



:lolpoint: