How to lose a wallet in 10 simple steps 19 replies

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IR15H

An end has a start.

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7th September 2005

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#1 12 years ago

The weekend before last I went out and was lucky enough to lose my wallet and house keys, some sceptics may perceive this to be a negative, it should in fact be treated as a challenge. I have kindly devised a simple 10 step plan for those who wish to re–enact my activities and lose their wallet too*; Step 1. Arrange to go on a night out (venue is interchangeable on the provision it has a licence to sell alcohol) with friends, or on your own if you are feeling particularly adventurous. Step 2. Drink vodka and Pepsi (not coke) at home, ensure you have your wallet prior to departing. Step 3. Arrive at required destination. Step 4. Purchase alcohol, consume. Step 5. Discover your friend is behind the bar and can get you cheap drinks. Step 6. Consume unknown amounts of alcohol, mixing drinks is more cost efficient. Step 7. Suffer from memory gaps/blackout. Step 8. Be guided onto the night bus home by friends, being able to walk unaided at this stage is essential. Step 9. Claim you feel sick and need to get off the bus (if previous steps have been followed correctly you should not recall making any such claim), ensure this is done at least 5 miles away from your house. Step 10. Run/jog/walk home for the following two hours, upon arrival at home collapse on (your) bed. Somewhere within the night out you should lose your wallet and can then enjoy all the benefits of having no bus pass/bank card/driving licence etc. and house keys for a short duration. It also rewards the kind soul who sees your wallet and picks it up, but keeps it instead of handing it in. Image is for demonstrative purposes only.

wallet.jpg?maxWidth=500*Disclaimer – This 10 step plan was written to the best of my recollection and no guarantees of losing your wallet are offered.




rebornintheglory

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20th January 2006

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#2 12 years ago

Oh my. I've lost mine too. Unfortunately, there was not so much alcohol involved. :(




IR15H

An end has a start.

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7th September 2005

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#3 12 years ago

It's not fun or challenging to lose your wallet when sober, buy a new one and try again.




rebornintheglory

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20th January 2006

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#4 12 years ago

I have. But now i need new *everything*. And then i can try.




Guest

I didn't make it!

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#5 12 years ago

your too young to drink




rebornintheglory

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20th January 2006

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#6 12 years ago

You're to young to speak properly, so what? :p




-Ghost-

Phantom of the Forums

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20th August 2003

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#7 12 years ago

Yay.




Inyri Forge VIP Member

[Insert User Title Here]

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15th March 2005

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#8 12 years ago

I can lose my wallet in two steps.

1) Leave it in the bathroom. 2) Freak out.

Done.




Guest

I didn't make it!

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#9 12 years ago

are you nude when this happens :p




Inyri Forge VIP Member

[Insert User Title Here]

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15th March 2005

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#10 12 years ago

Do you wander around your bathroom naked with your wallet?




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