Jotd - 1/19/04 3 replies

2 of them today

A guy goes over to his friends house, rings the bell. The wife answers.

"Hi, is Tony home?"

"No, he went to the store."

"Well, you mind if I wait?"

"No come in." They sit down and the friend says "You know Sara, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one."

Sara thinks about this for a second and figures what the hell - a hundred bucks. She opens her robe and shows one. He promptly thanks her and throws a 100 bucks on the table.

They sit there a while longer and Chris says "They are so beautiful I've got to see the both of them. I'll give you another 100 bucks if I could just see the both of them together."

Sara thinks about this and says what the hell opens her robe and gives Chris a nice long look. Chris thanks her and throws another 100 bucks on the table then says he can't wait any longer for Tony and leaves.

A while later Tony arrives home and his wife says "You know, your weird friend Chris came over." Tony thinks about this for a second and says "Well, did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?"

and

A woman walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer tells her that the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan, so the woman hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce that's parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls Royce into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the woman returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer approaches her and says: "We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we're a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked out your accounts and found that you were a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?" "Well, where else in Manhattan can I park my car for two weeks for fifteen bucks?"

Wow the second one is too true

I had heard the second one before, but the first one is hilarious!

i want to try the New York joke.