Kia's Latest Model: Plascar Review 16 replies

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Mr. Matt VIP Member

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#1 13 years ago

element_3.jpgThe Kia Plascar; a technological revolution for Kia, but have they finally made an actual automobile? Being aware that their safety record was not high (they never have loyal customers due to the 100% fatality rate of Kia drivers), and being aware that the general quality or their products is often in dispute, Kia Motors began to look for assistance in trying to develop their first actual 'car'. As most motoring companies regarded Kia as a 'threat to all of mankind', they were forced to look elsewhere. Eventually, Kia Motors signed a contract with the Lego Company to design and produce the environmentally unfriendly 'Plascar'. Lego bosses said that they were "surprised" to be approached by an automotive company. Made from enormous Lego blocks, the Kia Plascar uses a revolutionary (in Kialand) new 18bhp 9.6l 16-cylinder internal combustion engine, and its standard safety features include a body, seats, and a superb new rubberised steering wheel. Priced at £4.50, the Kia Plascar comes pre-assembled, boxed, with half a tank of fuel and three years of free life insurance. It comes in three-door, five-door and zero-door flavours, can be built with Lego blocks of a color of your choosing, and features an optional 'escape hatch'. FM radio with one speaker is included on luxury models. While the Plascar handles surprisingly well for a PoS, we did notice some problems. Whilst there was no body roll, the wheels had a tendency to come loose and throw the car on its side when taking sharp bends. Worse, the steering wheel is apparently a scaled-up version of the tiny one used in Lego models, and is apparently not connected to anything -- we pulled it from the floor of the cabin six times by accident, and each time we noticed no negative handling effects. The engine is perky for a Kia, though for a car it isn't so good. Kia's decision to trust the manufacturing of their new 'SLOSION-TECH' engine to the Lego company may not have been the wisest commercial move, however, as it had a tendency to melt and kill innocent bystanders. When it is not a puddle of molten plastic, however, the engine does pull the inconsiderate weight of the Plascar, though we preferred to put a brick on the accelerator, walk to our destinations and then return for the car afterwards. The Plascar may also fail to pass most environmental standards; we attempted to monitor the emissions of the engine, but unfortunately the smog that resulted prevented us from seeing the dials. We also noticed some severe visibility problems in the cabin; namely, the windows were all made of strange, crystal-like blue plastic. This may have been a safety risk in a proper car, but fortunately Kias do not move fast enough to present a danger. The fact that none of the mirrors are actually mirrors also presented a minor problem. The quality of the cabin, however, was suspect. As mentioned we found that the steering wheel was held down only by two large 'studs', and it could be removed easily. Most of the dials were sticky-labels affixed to a bare plastic wall, and the controls all appeared to be translucent colored blobs of plastic which didn't really do anything. We found this disappointing, as Lego models are traditionally much higher quality than this -- Kia engineering is clearly evident, unfortunately. As with all Kias, the Plascar boasts very low running requirements due to the fact that it will never leave the showroom. Any exterior damage to the bodywork is cheap to repair and there is plenty of potential for bodywork modification, as most of the outer shell appears to be easily removable. Car crashes may be fatal, but they are cheap to repair. Have Kia finally made an automobile? No. Although it is a significant improvement over their previous efforts, Kia have not managed to produce a car yet. But retailing at £4.50 this will be the perfect gift for someone you do not like, and we expect that dealers will be willing to negotiate on the price. All in all, this is a superior vehicle compared to Kia's previous efforts, but we would recommend you avoid this model entirely and purchase a car instead. *[color=silver]****[/color]




Pethegreat VIP Member

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#2 13 years ago

*notes to self to buy a kia*




M!tch VIP Member

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#3 13 years ago

hmmm i think i'll stick with my renault


Thinking about it.



Mr. Matt VIP Member

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#4 13 years ago

With your what?!




M!tch VIP Member

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#5 13 years ago

RENAULTyou stupid Telfordonian :D


Thinking about it.



M!tch VIP Member

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#6 13 years ago
Mr. Matt VIP Member

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#7 13 years ago

Excuse me. I have to... do something...




Deimos

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#8 13 years ago

Are you the salesman for that vehicle? Then please help me. Do you think that I can fit in the car model that can be found in post #1 of this thread?




M!tch VIP Member

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#9 13 years ago

does it involve an orgasm?


Thinking about it.



Mr. Matt VIP Member

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#10 13 years ago
Solid SnakeAre you the salesman for that vehicle? Then please help me. Do you think that I can fit in the car model that can be found in post #1 of this thread?[/QUOTE] It's not an extremely small car on a normal-sized table, you understand. It's a normal-sized car on an extremely large table. [quote=M!tch]does it involve an orgasm?

No, it involves chainsaws and blood.




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