[LIVE] Address to the Parliament 47 replies

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Commissar MercZ

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#1 6 years ago

Random is the spirit of spam, and so it shall be known that Red Menace became too static. He had betrayed everything Spam was known for, in exchange for a strange deal with the very evil forces of anti-spam. What is anti-spam? A vile thing Red Menace sold himself too in exchange for free In 'n' Out burgers. He did not care much for this forum and directly contributed to its near destruction, flooded by certain brain damage-inducing images from certain cartoons, old and new. I need not repeat their names here. All I say is we're free from this menace. In more ways than one.

[APPLAUSE MACHINE]

Effectively immediately, previous restrictions of Red Menace's are lifted. These include but are not limited to,

-The right to organize your own group. -The right to eat something besides dinonuggets. Or continue eating those if it suits you. -No more bans on 'Winning'. -Immediate cessation of the requirement to grow neckbeards. -Lift of bans on groups such as the NEDM Cult. -No more music restrictions. -No more residuals to Red Menace for every use of the word 'sexy' -No more confiscation of your pants. -Freedom to do the safety dance. -No more punishment for calling Red Menace, "Rod Menass". -Bar Mitzvahs are allowed once more. -No more crappy Objectivist 'literature' as required reading -Anyone can join S.P.A.M., not just hand-picked people. -Discussion on whether Red Menace is or is not a native-born citizen of Spam. What's he afraid of, huh? WHERE'S THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE, RED? ONLY AMERICANS SHOULD BE IN POSITIONS OF POWER ON FILEFRONT, AND HE'S NOT A NATIVE BORN OF AMERICA. -No more 'death councils' that will kill grandma. Or your cat.

And many more that I can not simply list here. Far too many pointless things for Red Menace to ban simply because he could.

[APPLAUSE MACHINE]

Yes, yes, it's all good. Such is the freedom Red Menace withheld. In the first week of April we are hoping to begin the plans to hold new elections for the Spam Parliament, long banned under Red Menace's reign of terror. We must also take steps to correct his wrongs. Among the many other things is an immediate strengthening of our defensive capabilities, for too long Red Menace has made us weak to our vile enemies in other subforums who hate our freedom and democracy.

Effective immediately, a War on Terror is declared on Red Menace and his cohorts seeking to overthrow spam. I have evidence here in my hands showing conclusive proof that Red Menace is A. A huge loser and B. Conspiring with our enemies to destroy spam.

Either you are with us, or you are with the terrorists.

a865_bush_sept_20_2001_speech_2050081722-7321.jpg

[APPLAUSE MACHINE]

Yes, to the members of Parliament I applaud those who have stood with me and not deserted to Red Menace's false 'government'. We all know that Red Menace is not in it for the lulz, but for the [COLOR=SeaGreen]$$$. [/COLOR][COLOR=Black]You know what I'm talking about.

moneytile.gif

Yeah booooooy. All that sweet green will go to you, the hard working spammer. I know that the prices at the pump are hurting you, so I will have an immediate gas tax holiday that will translate into you seeing lower prices at the spam pump! We will also end Red Menace's bans on energy exploitation, and renew our use of crappy memes, small equestrienne animals, and spambots to power our energy factories and give us energy independence from the other subforums.

And a tax break for everyone that'll benefit the richest you losers hahah err spur on creativity and spam thread hiring.

Yes, that's right, immediate relief in your wallet. If you need reminding,

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Oh and I guess in your pockets too. [COLOR=Black] Because I am committed to the hunt for Public Enemy No. 1, I'm offering a substantial reward of everything out of my pocket* to who ever provides the Spam government with details to Red Menace's whereabouts. He must be made to pay for the great disaster that was known as Splicer, and very well the disappearance of beloved figures like YUIOP, Emperor Norton, CorT, and many more.

So remember, where there are enemies of Spam, we the Spam Forum stand ready to strike at them at any time, anywhere. Long live the Spam Forum. Never forgive, never forget!

[APPLAUSE MACHINE] [/COLOR] najibullah.jpg

P.S.: dat face ohhhoooo




Commissar MercZ

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#2 6 years ago

Security has removed the smelly hippies with their diseases and drum circles. They have been taken to quarantine to treat them for contagious diseases.




Ryojin

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#3 6 years ago

Oh look, he's mad. My original point still stands: tl;dr

Also, please refer to my avatar.


Disclaimer: Personal opinions still not endorsed by Ryojin.



Guest

I didn't make it!

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#4 6 years ago

[COLOR="Red"]Oh yes, let us support this madness.[/COLOR]




Commissar MercZ

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#5 6 years ago

Ryojin;5626694Oh look, he's mad. My original point still stands: tl;dr

Also, please refer to my avatar.[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=Obankobi;5626700][COLOR=Red]Oh yes, let us support this madness.[/COLOR]

Madness? MADNESS? THIS IS SPAM FORUM /old meme




Commissar MercZ

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#6 6 years ago

Also please note that any continued display of banners with giant mushrooms on it will be treated as drug addiction and you'll be taken away for your own safety by cybersecurity.

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I didn't make it!

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#7 6 years ago

300px-Keplers_supernova.jpg

That's a goddamn super nova.




Commissar MercZ

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#8 6 years ago

Yes, it's a supernova. At least you aren't as bad in astronomy as Red Menace.




Ryojin

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#9 6 years ago
Commissar MercZ;5626707

Being shocked is probably not very much fun.


Disclaimer: Personal opinions still not endorsed by Ryojin.



Commissar MercZ

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#10 6 years ago
Ryojin;5626719Being shocked is probably not very much fun.

No, it's not. Tasers in general aren't very fun. I wonder what I would do if I had an internet equivalent of a Taser though.

And I am pleased with the continued persistence of drug addicts with mushrooms and laser-shooting-balls, such decay from our youth. No love for democracy or freedom.