MA's confession and penance thread 23 replies

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Joe Bonham

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10th December 2005

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#1 12 years ago

I have declared myse- I mean, God has declared me a high bishop of the world. Make your confessions here, and I will assign you an act of penance to carry out.




Joe Bonham

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#2 12 years ago

My first (unwilling) customer!

My confession is im not really 15...im *drums roll* *more drum rolling*im...im...

16!I turned 16 yesterday!

*Cringes and waites for DataLord to whack me with wooden spoon,then realises dataLord has no wooden spoon and walkes off...Wait ,DataLord has a mace!*

I command you in the name of the Lord to go on a pilgrimage to Ethiopia, and dwell in a giant pile of human dung for 40 days and 40 nights. You are permitted to trap and eat any rats, dung beetles, large endangered birds that happen to come your way. You can also use a playstation to pass the time during your stay.




SMC21

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9th April 2005

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#3 12 years ago

I killed a hooker. :(




Joe Bonham

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#4 12 years ago

I, in the name of the God Almighty, command you to eat your own head. You will be provided with a rubber knife and a holy relic of your choosing to help you in your task. Holy Relics available to you: The Holy Grail, lock of the Virgin Mary's hair, the Holy Lance, arm of St. Peter.




Joe Bonham

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#5 12 years ago

Another sinner has come to my attention:

That's assuming that he was in the closet to begin with...

This statement suggests a perverted, unholy relationship between these two men. I, in the name of St. Germanus of Britannia, command you to emasculate yourself with a dull spoon, and live inside an inflated inner tube for 3 days.




Joe Bonham

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#6 12 years ago

Dipship

Holy crap! You have taken the Lord's name in vain. I command you, in the power bestowed upon me by the Holy Sepulchre, to brand your tongue with a hair iron. After you get out of the hospital, go on a 40 day vacation in Africa, preferably in a country going through a civil war... wearing a red target on your chest.




Pethegreat VIP Member

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19th April 2004

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#7 12 years ago

I pwned MA in a spam thread about rape, and it feels great:p




Joe Bonham

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#8 12 years ago

Pethegreat has told a fib. I command you, in the name of Santiago, to have half drown yourself in a pit of jello filled with live pirana.




Joe Bonham

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#9 12 years ago

MA didn't check his google search link carefully.

Last edited by Red Menace : 1 Hour Ago at 11:08 AM. Reason: That was a porn site.

In the name of Bartholomew and the Cult of the Holy Lance, I command MA to wrap himself in electrical wiring, and wrap his tongue around the wiring in the fuse box. *Ack... that smarted a bit...*




Joe Bonham

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#10 12 years ago
Chris Down Sex!

You said the S-word.

With the power bestowed me by St. Paul himself, I command you to go on a quest of penance in the desert of....Antarctica.

You will be permitted to carry these and only these three objects: a toothbrush, a dead squirrel, and a holy relic from the list below:

-Jesus's left sock, the eyeball of Raymond of Toulhouse, or the head of John the Baptist (Watch out, he'll talk your ear off!)

Bishop MA has spoken.