weirdal = new ptaq()
2nd September 2003
The Origin of Money TreesThe Elusive History of an Equally Elusive Plant
"Money doesn't grow on trees", is what you'll hear whenever you ask for something expensive. Surprisingly, however, this is not the case. It may one day be true, however, if we do not commit ourselves to saving this international wonder.
Although popularly believed, "Cash" does not come from the French word "caisse", meaning cash register. Cash comes from the money tree, a plant grown worldwide but kept in secrecy due to its nature. A different species of money tree is used in every country with printable currency, and several species can often be used to denote differing values.
Scientists have recently been experimenting with money trees in order to increase their yield, in the US, this resulted in the nemus centumviaticus, variants of which exist in Australia, America, and Canada. It is one of the first-known examples of scientists altering a species by changes in its environment.
Environment, however, is not the only thing that can change the appearance of our beloved nemus centumviaticus. Banks frequently have to change to new forms of their currency due to hitherto-unknown fluctuations in the tree, which change the appearance of the fruit created by money trees.
But what causes this? Scientists are not sure, but theorise it may have something to do with the unique ability of the plants to detect changes in the economy - A gift believed to be bestowed on them by the use of their fruit in our own economic systems. It is thought that once too much of a note enters circulation, the plant is able to realise this and adapt. The leading theory suggests that this is a defence mechanism designed to stop exploitation of the more valued variants of the nemus centumviaticus.
Money trees are thought to have come into existence only recently, possibly as recently as within the past millennium. Due to the degree to which these trees are considered secret, not much information exists on population counts for these, and estimates vary wildly.
One report suggests that the increasing circulation of money within our society is an indication that the population is growing. Under the guise of an unrelated study, the New York Times stated "family income [..] -- drives both." regarding the growth of population.
However, others are more worried. The BBC ran an article suggesting that digital banking is an indication that the money tree population is at risk, even going as far as to say that "Although nobody (but the banks involved) suffered any financial damage, customers will wonder what else can go wrong".
But with almost every country having multiple varieties of money tree, it is questionable to what degree the problem is. Are there too many trees, or are there not enough? Should we continue to exploit the nemus centumviaticus for use in our own systems, or is it time to make the switch to other forms of currency?
One possible answer comes from the nature of the trees themselves. Given that the trees are subject to extreme adaptation, it is difficult for any bank to rely on a specific variety of the plant to consistently produce their own forms.
However, the past few years indicate that the tree may be adapting towards a singular, specific form of currency, which would have far-reaching implications on our world economy. With the introduction of the "Euro" variety of the plant to the public in the year 2001, it became clear that a single, unified variety of the plant has independently developed. With more and more countries adopting these "Euro" plants, is it a sign of a more unified variety of money tree?
Whilst all we can say with any certain terms is that the money tree is one of the most popular plants believed not to exist by most, it is perhaps time we considered taking more care of the tree. It is clear that whilst we cannot determine whether the plant is at risk, we must take action by cutting down on our use of their fruit. For if we act, and find that the population is plentiful, the result will be far better than if we were not to act and find that our money tree ceases to exist.
20th January 2006
*reads the Jellybean times instead*