Psychiatric phone service 12 replies

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M!tch VIP Member

intermittently erratic

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12th March 2004

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#1 13 years ago

Phone System A transcript of the new answering service recently installed at the Royal College of Psychiatry: Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline. If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no-one will answer. If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969. If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line. If you have amnesia press 8 and state your name, address, phone, date of birth, social security number and your mother's maiden name. If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000. If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.


Thinking about it.



-Heretic-

None.

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12th June 2005

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#2 13 years ago

*hangs up*




Yannick

A psychedelic experience.

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16th April 2004

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#3 13 years ago

:rofl:

* *** * 9686 *

The voices told me, oh yesss they did.




Lord Wiener VIP Member

Piercing the veil.

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9th August 2003

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#4 13 years ago

#

#

...:lookaround:

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...:mad:

#####

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#


WouldYouKindly.png



Guest

I didn't make it!

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#5 13 years ago

000...helloooo?..




Lord Wiener VIP Member

Piercing the veil.

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9th August 2003

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#6 13 years ago

Boom!


WouldYouKindly.png



ToXiC Hawk

C'mon! Have a brain!

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6th December 2004

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#7 13 years ago

School Time!




Rammelslakje (NL)

This place is too short

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22nd July 2005

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#8 13 years ago

:rofl:




SwiftGuard

LOL SILLY NAME IS SILLY

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3rd April 2005

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#9 13 years ago
If you have amnesia press 8 and state your name, address, phone, date of birth, social security number and your mother's maiden name.

:rofl:




Rammelslakje (NL)

This place is too short

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22nd July 2005

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#10 13 years ago

I like M!tch! Hes f*ckin funny:bows:

[COLOR=Purple]* Adds M!tch to buddy list[/COLOR]




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