Slaneesh 4 replies

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I didn't make it!

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#1 4 years ago

That is all.




DarthParrot

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#2 4 years ago




Primarch Vulkan VIP Member

For the Emperor! Knights of Caliban!

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#3 4 years ago

Facts Alright, who's next for "Purifying"?

Slaanesh knows that you can't spell happiness without penis. Slaanesh turns all His/ Her followers into the opposite sex. Slaanesh's daemonettes possess men and then jack off. Slaanesh is bitching over the fact how his/her/its only representation in the DoW series was the Emperor's Children paint scheme. And they aren't even Slaaneshi like, they're just a generic chaos army. Although, he did grant favor to Eliphas for smashing a ton of soulstones. However, concerning stated above, the developers have added noise marines for Dawn of war 2: Retribution. This has made Slaanesh quite happy. However, he/she/it is still pissed off of not getting enough representation OFFENDED BY THIS SILENCE, considering Nurgle gets Plague Champion hero, the Plague Marine Tier 2 unit, and the Epic Great Unclean One daemon, Khorne then gets the Khornate Chaos Lord, Bloodletters and Bloodcrushers, while Tzeentch gets the Sorcerer hero, has the most effective upgrade for the basic CSM squad (Warpfire bolts make everything in front of them shit brix and was flat out broken in earlier versions of its introduction), and all of the Anti-armor upgrades, while he/she/it only gets a single unit that frankly eclipsed by either Plague Marines or generic Havocs with an autocannon. Slaanesh gets beaten up/off by all of the other Chaos Gods on a fairly regular basis, and gets off on it. If it exists, Slaanesh faps to it. Tzeentch likes to trick Slaanesh into fighting Khorne, Slaanesh always loses these fights and loses them hard. Tzeentch then gets a dose of lulz out of it. Slaanesh gets to take it hard. And this pleases him/her/it. Slaanesh is secretly depressed that he/she/it has no friends. Khorne is a dick, Tzeentch is the biggest dick there is, and Nurgle stole his Eldar goddess. Slaanesh gets bullied by all the other Chaos Gods constantly because none of them like him/her/it. Slaanesh is secretly turned on from the dickish bullying of the other Chaos Gods. Slaanesh is Tzeentch's second favorite victim for his hijinks, because it's oh so easy to string him along with offers of porn, whores, and/or drugs. Khorne regularly cuts off Slaanesh's arms and beats him/her/it over the head with them (Again, this inadvertently makes Slaanesh orgasm). Slaanesh was using steroids when he/she/it killed the Eldar Gods, he/she/it couldn't really beat them all without using performance enhancing drugs. Slaanesh is always on drugs. Slaanesh attempted to fight the Nightbringer in a desperate attempt to win back some street cred, he/she/it got his/her/it's left boob for his/her/it's trouble. It hurt so bad/good that it retroactively cut off the left boobs of all of Slaanesh's greater daemons and that's why they all only have one boob (or six). Hellraiser is Slaanesh's number one film. In fact, He/she/it took a lot of inspiration on many of the movie's aspects......That is, of course, a lie. He actually ripped off Hellraiser. Hellraiser ripped him/her/it off. A Clockwork Orange is one of Slaanesh's favorite movie's. He/she/it likes to jerk-off at many of the movie's aspects, but more notably Malcolm Mcdowell's sexy face. He/she/it also finds the death of one of the characters totally hilarious, due to the fact that said character was killed by a giant rocking ceramic phallus straight to the face. BLOWJOB OF DEATH !!! LULZ !!! Unbelievable and improbable? Well here's evidence to prove it: Giant rocking ceramic phallus attack !!!. His/her/its other favourite movie is The Rocky Horror Picture Show, mostly because of Tim Curry (who is actually Slaanesh). He/She also love Gore Vidal's Caligula for similar reasons. Slaanesh enjoys the Song of Ice and Fire books due to the copious amounts of incest and midget sex. Slaanesh gets ALL the pussy, though arguably just as much (if not more) cock. Slaanesh tried to seduce all of the remaining C'tan at once. Slaanesh ended up getting the pleasure sensors in its brain lobotomized. Despite psychic powers supposedly being Tzeentch's specialty, Slaanesh's tend to be the really cheesy ones. 3rd edition had a minor power called Siren, which forbids the caster from being shot at in the opponent's shooting phase (it's just as broken as it sounds). 4th edition has Lash of Submission, which the Chaos Marine tactics cover the usage of (in a nutshell, GW admitted they didn't realize how good it turned out to be and it was the most used on daemon princes even though the +1I from the required MoS wasn't very useful). And what about 6th edition? While Tzeentchian sorcerers focus on pwning the shit our of enemy with (mediocre) mind bullets and warp-beams, Slaaneshi ones pack a whole lot of cheesy buffs and debuffs, which makes them so much better. Still, he/she/it faps/shlicks/???-PROFIT at this.

Give yourself over to absolute pleasure Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh Erotic nightmares beyond any measure And sensual daydreams to treasure forever Can't you just see it. Whoa ho ho! Don't dream it, be it... Don't dream it, be it...


[color=#000000][size=2][b][i]Heralds of the coming doom, Like the cry of the Raven, we are drawn, This oath of war and vengeance, On a blade of exalted iron sworn, With blood anointed swords



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#4 4 years ago

this shit blow your mind?


[color=#000000][size=2][b][i]Heralds of the coming doom, Like the cry of the Raven, we are drawn, This oath of war and vengeance, On a blade of exalted iron sworn, With blood anointed swords



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#5 4 years ago

Indubitably! xD