23rd May 2003
If I was in charge an actor would need to have a good Walken impression just to get nominated.
Supporting actors would be allowed to have only a passable Walken impression which could be supplemented by a good Shatner or a Heston and other impression worthy actors would be considered as well.
Actresses would be judged on how many times they showed skin though being in scenes with Walken could be used instead if they're past the tender blossom of youth (i.e. Dench).
Best Film nominees would have to have Walken in them. If Shatner and Heston were in the film also its chances of winning would be exponentially increased.
Directors would be judged on how well they captured the many facets of Walken or "The Walken" as he's referred to by people in the biz.
Special Awards would always be given to Walken though Shatner and/or Heston would be allowed to take care of some of them if Walken allows it.
The Old Man
4th September 2004
Shatner? William Shatner?
Piercing the veil.
9th August 2003
Watch it, Chuck Norris might get wind of it and roundhouse kick everyone in the face so hard that they grow beards.
Smarter than your average stump.
26th June 2003
One unsettling glance from Walken and Norris would rounhouse kick himself in the face.
When in doubt, gas it!