The great tale: Part 1 2 replies

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Fortune

something to believe.

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19th February 2005

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#1 12 years ago

This is a story me and my bit...fellow storyteller Pug Dog made... behold its awesomeness, this is only the first part, there will be more!

Enter Marty Thompson. A Man of few skills. He pretty much sucked. While meandering through his messy room, he happened to look upon his most delicately shaped...fishbowl. To his utter shock, his miniature aquarium was void of all its creaures, except one lone goldfish, who was so aptly named "Frank". Marty randomly concluded Frank had cancer and somehow ate all the other fish. He put on his $5 Wal-Mart jacket, collected Frank, and rushed to the hospital. Marty rushes to his father's elequent Corvette, and drives that shit just about as fast as it can go to the nearest Fish Clinic. Because alas, there are many Fish Clinics to be found where Marty lives. And thus, Marty knew the one place to go. The FISH CLINIC!!!11 On the way, Marty most unfortunately and coincidentaly crashes into a Skyscraper while showing it to Frank. Along came rolling one oddly colored Ambulance. Most to Marty's surprise, the blood lured seven hundred and fifty GRIZZLY BEARS to the SCENE OF THE CRASH!! Most displeased, Marty started panicking and soon became hysterical with terror. Then to his dismay, one such grizzly bear confronted him and told upon Marty "We are peaceful bears." Marty was forced to beleive the bear. He was just so fucking cute and cuddly! But in reality the bears were harboring a great a terrible secret.. one that if told would perhaps destroy the entire world in fire and death!!!!!111!!!1one!!1 The bears collected Marty and Frank and put them in their oddly colored bear ambulance and drove off into the night. Later, Marty awoke most frightfully when he heard someone talking. It was a tiny voice, and it seemed to be yelling Marty's name. Confabulated, Marty looked about the small ambulance, which was still driving. He looked to the front and saw the bear driving. He discovered that it was in fact, Frank the fish talking to him!!!!11one Frank said thus "Alas dear Marty, I who am what you call Fish is not what you thinkest of me. I am in fact a Ninja. We are the clan of Gold Phish Ninja Conglomerate. My label, Frank, stand for the Future Ruler Angry Ninjas of Kinderlang!!!" Marty was confused, and beckoned Frank to eloborate further on this fascinating revelation of which he had so abruptly brought upon the simple-minded Marty. "You see, Kinderlang is actually a type of German Casserole. Tis quite good food, and we've many times feasted upon its orgasmic taste. Each of us Phish were actually borned from a Ceremony with the Kinderlang. Its quite bizzare and would probably make you sick if I attempted to explain it to thee. But I digress." Said Frank. Then, Marty and Frank were suddenly dragged out of the Ambulance, and were being surrounded by the bears! And they WERE ANGRY!!! Marty was again confused, because alas the bear had told him they were peaceful. Apparently, he had LIED!! As the bears were closing in for the kill, STEPHEN COLBERT and CHRISTOPTHER WALKEN descend like bats from the trees and start blasting away the bears with shotguns!! And then, something HAPPENED that caused strange music to start playing. The bears start talking and all the sudden they are all transported to a beach. Must have been some sort of MAGICAL SPELL!!! The bears all got on their knees and started crying. Marty asked one why they so mournfully shed tears upon this sand of beach. To which the bear replied "ALAS!! WE ARE HOME!!" For they were in fact, home. They had been miraculously transported to their HOME PLANET of GRODPIA!! Marty was most surpirsed! For GRODPIA was actually a rare and exotic type of BRAZILLIAN FRUIT!! The bears say it is not a Brazillian fruit, but an actual planet, far from Earth. All the sudden amongst the confusion, Fidel Castro swims ashore, brandishing a knife in his teeth! Fidel then commences to attacking the bears, one by one, gutting them most grotesquely. He then sheathes his knife, only to weild his set of DUAL 9 MILLIMETER PISTOLS!! He start blasing away left and right, battling most heroically with the bears. He pauses while the bears regroup, and says to Marty and the others: "Alas brothers, theres a Cuba on EVERY PLANET!!" To which he then charges back into battle, shouting like a crazed MILF. The great Sean Connerey then arrives in a most oddly shaped AIRSHIP, and declares that he is the leader of planet GRODPIA and commander of the bears. The bears rejoice at the sight of their menacing leader return to their ranks, and they rush back into the CARNAGE with a FEARSOME RAGE like never before seen!! Then, Chuck Norris flies in from across space, and starts ROUND-HOUSE KICKING the bears, when FREDDY KREUGER pops out of the sand and knocks CHUCK unconscious!! JASON then appeared (Hockey mask Jason) out of the chaotic battle, and quickly and efficiently KILLED FREDDY, who, in turn, was slaughtered by Sean Connerey, a man in his 80's! But to everyones surprise, FREDDY comes back from death, because he can't die in the first place. Chuck Norris then gets back up, but he cant engage in combat with Fred yet. For Chuck Norris doesn't sleep...he waits. And wait he did. Finally, FRED got bored and commenced to PLEASING HIMSELF!!! Sean Connerey then starts yelling at the bears for nearly losing the battle. He then wanted to fight Freddy, but was not strong enough. So, he began to tear FRED down emotionally. "Thy Nightmare on Elm Street movies are not scary, ye demon!" Sean said. Freddy got offended that someone would insult his masterwork cinemas, and started to weep like a little schoolgirl bitch. Then, Sean transformed into JAMES BOND and crushed FREDDY's head. But then, a most ominous tempest began forming on the far shores, a forboding omen that the worst was yet to come, and surely the planet of GRODPIA would be shrouded in darkness, and the battle that would decide the fate of the bears, Marty, and Frank was at hand. TO BE CONTINUED..............................................




EliteKiller

An Elite Fighter...kills all

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1st August 2006

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#2 12 years ago

wow i feel vry odd afetr that storie...ugh i need a talnole pm




Fortune

something to believe.

50 XP

19th February 2005

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7,750 Posts

0 Threads

#3 12 years ago
EliteKillerwow i feel vry odd afetr that storie...ugh i need a talnole pm

I suppose it has "spelling haltering" abilities doesnt it? :p