[Barbarian] "Onward, fellow plebs! Charge the great heffilumps!" [Soldiers rally] [Barbarian] "Ttttcchhhaaarrrrrgggeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehaaaa!"
Opposite Side of Battlefield
[Captain] "Sir, it looks like they are charging. Shall I bring the ranks to attention?" [Marshal] "No, Captain. Wait for them to get close, then unleish the Weapon X. They won't know what hit them." [Captain] "Truly an ingenious plan, sir. Shall I decide the distance before counter offensive?" [Marshal] "Yes, young man. You have control." [Captain] "Sir, yes, sir."
[Barbarians getting closer]
[Soldier within Marshal's ranks] "They look pretty angry, wouldn't you say?" [Soldier next to first soldier] "The angrier, the easier to kill. We'll have some feast tonight!" [First soldier] "Indeed. Whoever kills the least buys drinks?" [Second soldier] "Agreed."
[Barbarians coming within firing range]
[Captain] "Just a few seconds now." [Lieutenant] "Sir, do you wish to charge?" [Captain] "No, Jones. I wish to use Weapon X. Ready the weapon, at the double!] [Lieutenant] "But sir, won't that scar them for life?" [Captain] "Lieutenant, you are not paid to think. These are the Marshal's wishes. Get to it!" [Lieutenant] "Yes, sir, sorry, sir."
[Barbarians within Weapon X's distance. Screams reverberating from Barbarians]
[Captain] "Is the weapon ready?" [Lieutenant] "Yes, sir. Shall I fire?" [Captain] "Yes. You have permission to fire."
[Weapon X is unleished. Boom boxes echo the sound towards the Barbarians]
Waterloo! I was defeated, you won the war, Waterloo! Promise to love you for ever more, Waterloo! Couldn't escape if I wanted to, Waterloo! Knowing my fate is to be with you, Waterloo! Finally facing my Waterloo. [Barbarians fall to ground, clutching ears.]
[Marshal] "It is done. Take the victims prisoner, and allow them to drink water - even I can sympathise with them after going through that ordeal."
Too true. Mental torture, eh?
12th March 2004
hmmm, strange but true
Thinking about it.
Perhaps if I knew what you were talking about, I would find it funny.
What, the dog grammar or the story?