At first, it was a day like any other. Little did I know of what terrors were to come... It all started on a Tuesday afternoon... I was walking up my long, uphill driveway to the garage door. I had just gotten home from school. As I approached the garage door, it started to open, where I then found my mom getting ready to head over to the gym. "I'm going to go work out," she said. "We're having barbecue pork cuts for dinner tonight." I, a little upset by hearing the word barbecue, asked, "They're going to come with the barbecue sauce on them?" My mother replied, "Well, I'm not going to put it on them, so anyone can choose whether or not to have barbecue sauce on their pork." Satisfied with this answer, despite my previous unpleasant experiences with pork, I said "Alright" and walked off into the house as the car backed out of the garage. I had the house to myself. I threw the mail onto the counter by the stove. With a speedy walk, I hurried to my room to relieve myself of the 18-pound backpack I was carrying with one shoulder. After a large thud went through the house, I then proceeded to walk back to the kitchen. A microwavable Tyson chicken breast patty would be my late gourmet lunch of choice, as I choose not to eat school lunches. Not because they are a disgrace to food everywhere, but because I prefer not to eat in front of people. While the chicken patty was being cooked, I hurried to let loose a storm of urination that I had been holding in for quite some time, and was becoming quite bothersome. I made it to the bathroom, just in time to save my pants the humiliation of a pee-splosion. I needn't bore you nor embarass me with the details of what happened between the time I entered the bathroom to the time I hurried back to the microwave. *Beep beep beep!* went the microwave. After securing myself a meal, I walked to the computer while contemplating whether or not to fap to various lovely images on 4chan. I decided against it. I've been suspicious lately of my moms doings, like she's trying to find out if I fap to 4chan. I may just be paranoid, but one can never be too safe, right? I logged onto Filefront Gaming Forums. Much to my pleasure, I was greeted by the sight of Splicer on his second strike. "This calls for a celebration," I thought to myself as I finished my chicken patty. I set my sights on the candy bowl in the living room. It was full of candy from Halloween. After 5 bags of candy and only 6 trick-or-treaters, there tends to be a lot of leftovers. I strolled casually over to the orange candy bowl. Today was a Kit-Kat day. I dug through all the boxes of Junior Mints and Milk Duds and grabbed a mini Kit-Kat pack. The minute me and the pack made contact, I knew a bond was formed. I stared at the wrapper for a minute, admiring it's beauty. "You're the only one for me," I said aloud, and afterwords looking around me to make sure no one was home. With a delicate touch, I began to unwrap the Kit-Kat. Soon, it's brown, chocolately goodness was revealed. I broke the two Kit-Kat bars apart while advancing to the trash can under the sink in the kitchen. I started to eat one of the bars. I was unable to keep both bars in one hand, so I put one of them in the hand holding the wrapper. I opened the cabinet and pulled out the trashcan, finishing up the rest of the first Kit-Kat bar. I threw the wrapper into the trash can, closed the cabinet, and headed back to the computer to post on my favorite forums. I was ready to eat my other Kit-Kat bar. I pulled my hand to my face. A horrifying discovery was made. The Kit-Kar bar was gone! "Where could it have gone? What happened to it? Did I eat so fast that I forgot I ate again?" All sorts of questions were running through my mind at a thousand miles a minute. I tried to calm myself, trying to think back to the events of a couple minutes ago. That's when it hit me - the bar, the wrapper, both were in the hand that was opened over the trash can! I ran to the trash cabinet. When I peered into the trash can, it was as if I were gazing upon the wife I'll never have in her funeral casket. There - my Kit-Kat bar - sitting upon an old, used up coffee filter. I fell to my knees, my hands hanging onto the rim the of the trash can. I cried out to the sky, "NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I stay there, sobbing for almost a whole 2 minutes. A break in my pattern of crying. "No," I thought to myself. "I've got to move on!" Swallowing my emotions, I dragged my feet into the living room and fell onto the couch. My eyes drifted to the candy bowl once more. I cut short the memories of when me and the legendary candy first met. It was time to move on. I decided it was time I found a new candy. A Reese's peanut butter cup. "Kit-Kat would have wanted me to move on," I thought to myself. I got up and walked slowly to the candy bowl. I gazed at it from above. I fell to my knees. I hit my fist on the table repeatedly. "DAMN YOU, SPLICER! DAMN YOOOUUUUUU!" There were no Reese's peanut butter cups left.
Perhaps this story was too hardcore romantic tragedy for the Spam Forum.
^^ send it in for a short story anthology *sniffle* it has all the makings of an epic!
I didn't make it!
redgroupclan;5422355Perhaps this story was too hardcore romantic tragedy for the Spam Forum.
I just found it and it was quite entertaining. Congragulations, you've risen in rank here at the Spam Forum.
Could RGC be losing his faggotry?
RGC, I can't wait for you to make an anthology of these. I want to read them to my grand children.
Dragonelf68;5422435Could RGC be losing his faggotry?[/QUOTE] That's just silly talk. [QUOTE=Schofield;5422439]RGC, I can't wait for you to make an anthology of these. I want to read them to my grand children.
My works infecting the youth? Oh, an intoxicating thought indeed! I shall put an anthology on my to-do list.