"Something I've always wanted to know.. since your papasmurf.. do you pimp out smurfette? She's the only female smurf in a village of smurfs.. you do the math."
-Typical outsider question. I can answer that. Smurfette is a blood sacrifice for our Neo-Generationist covenant, she satisfies the Monster's (Gargamel's) urges. Now, a lot of people wonder how we Smurfs multiply. It just so happens she escapes the Monster's clutches everytime, and this is her turn on. Thus, a mad Smurf Orgy ceremony occurs upon her every return. Once she gives birth, she is again nailed to a cross and carried off for sacrifice. Do not pity her, as she knows her purpose well...Also, if you are curious why there are more than one Papa Smurfs around here it's because we are currently in the midst of an uprising amongst the more traditionals (Him) and the Neo-Generationists. (Me) We Neo-Generationists do not believe in one leader in that we are more leaning toward a council-run republic The Traditionalists think Smurfette should be for Papa Smurf alone, but us Neo-Generationists differ in our beliefs, as exemplified in the previous description. Other things we Neo-Generationists stand for include: 1. Exploiting our 'shroom economy. 2. Communism will never go away. 3. Change is good, as long as we get to stay Communist. 4. Nuclear Proliferation. 5. Gnome and Dwarf genocide. And much more. If you are interested in becoming a Neo-Generationist, SAY SO NOW! Lest be marked as a Traditionalist and die upon the successful elemination of he who is known as PAPA SMURF...So rally with me, WIZE PAPA SMURF as that old geezer has no wisdom in him!
PRAISE THE OLD WAYS WHILE ADAPTING WITH THE NEW!
PRAISE THE 'SHROOM, AS IT IS THE LIFEBLOOD FOR OUR ECONOMY!
THINK NOT AS SMURFETTE AS EVIL, FOR SHE IS BUT A SACRIFICE!
yWizePapaSmurfyPRAISE THE 'SHROOM, AS IT IS THE LIFEBLOOD FOR OUR ECONOMY!
I would totally hit it.
Smurf you Turtlefuzz! SMURF YOU!
Non-believers will perish, that is all.
yWizePapaSmurfySmurf you Turtlefuzz! SMURF YOU!
thats why they suck. 'lets go play smurfstation!' that gets annoying.
Non believers will be offered up as sacrifice in Smurfette's stead...and they say males don't sooth the beast as well as the females...
Anyone know what color a smurf turns when you choke it? I'll let you guys know in a few minutes(looks at yWizePapaSmurfy)
...That is not sensible, you giants do not know of our pain? You hope to choke a lower being than yourself? True, noble giants, would respect the little folk we Smurfs are and not intercede in our affairs.
*Orders the catapults to be ready* For tonight, we shall make the Traditionalists pay for their crimes against our society!