Oh. Hello there, you sexy beast. I bet you were wondering what's different about me today? Yes. That's right. I got a new visual style. It's a blend of retro and flashy modern twists. That's the first change that's taken place, the second is the dropping of Daily from the name, as it will no longer be daily. It will be at least weekly, but generally there will be non-integer midweek updates and meaty chunks of funky words.
This particular issue is a prologue to a new era, and serves as an introduction, as the official new run of Syndrome Issues will start this weekend with issue #13! So enjoy the article presented here, as there will be plenty more where that came from. Yes, I'm teasing you.
As always, the Syndrome is open to anything written by anyone (as long as the guidelines are followed, and they can be found here), and on any subject. My brain only has limited capacity so it really helps when people want to write short things.
The above question conveniently doubles up as a headline, hence the extravagant style. If it was nothing more than a simple question then it would probably just have been typed like the rest of these words. As with the previous issues of the Syndrome, the words that follow a headline broadly form some sort of article, and today that article is this one, starting from just around now. Well, in a few seconds, since I'm going to preface it with this message.
There is something soothing about sitting down. I think it has something to do with the fact that it takes very little effort, and is the equivalent of being a king or queen, or even both, depending on the situation. So it will chill you to the bone to read as I recount the following tale, as it contains a period of not sitting down for some time.
Today I spent an elongated number of hours in a lab. For clarification, the lab in question was not a labrador, but a laboratory. That would be sick and wrong, and probably something that I wouldn't do, at least early in the morning when catching one would take some effort. This particular laboratory was fairly normal in terms of weather. Indoor situations usually are, and on this day the temperature was around a 6 on the scale of 1 to inferno. Not overbearing, just about right.
So, I was happy to continue, laughing away as my reactions continued to drone on for a few hours. The thought that I was standing up on my hind legs wasn't even in my mind. It usually isn't, as it's not something vitally important to survival. If I was a dolphin then being vertical and out of water would be a major concern. However, I should have been focusing more on this fact, as by this point I'd been upright for around 3-4 hours. This is not startling in itself, as I'm sure that many of you have been on your feet for longer than this time.
The sickening truth is that I remained on my feet for a further 2 hours, making it 6 hours without sitting down. In fact, I didn't even move around much, staying literally laterally motionless for hours on end. Don't worry, the funny part is coming soon (I hope). As I began to make my way to the exit I managed to fall and catch myself a few times. This, as covered in a previous issue, is generally accepted as a form of travel called walking. This is normal. It's what happened after these first few tentative steps that was unsuccessful. My legs decided that they didn't want to be moving, which I understand is their right, but it rather inconvenienced me, as I was already in motion.
I fell forwards, expectantly, relying on my left leg to catch me, but it never came. Over I tumbled, my life flashing before my eyes. It didn't take long. After it had all passed in front of me the truth of what was happening hit me. After the truth had hit me the floor hit me. How would I play this one off as casual in front of all of these people? Simple. I would blend it into a roll, and roll out, looking awesome.
This did not go well.
And that concludes the teaser to the new season of Syndrome scribblings! Keep a watchful eye over this region of the Spam Forum over the coming weekend for the first official new issue! Also, join the group.
Coming Soon in the next issue of the Daily Syndrome:
Words are written about large amounts of Chinese food, the plague, sausage fingers and a bag of cats. Also soon there will be a dramatic appearance by the terrifyingly spectacular Mihail in all his glory.
What better could you be doing than reading the Syndrome?* [SIZE="1"]*This question is rhetorical.[/SIZE]
If this is a teaser, does that mean the issue will be fairly long?
Yes, and it will have some never before seen features
Is it just me, or are things getting competitive in here?
redgroupclan;5423052Is it just me, or are things getting competitive in here?
'Tis just you.
He's trying to turn my customers against me... I won't stand for this! Your writing days are numbered, Muse. Your writing days are numbered.
Why the fuck aren't you on Tinychat? And no one will beat Muse's Syndrome.
Yes, my writing days are numbered, they go to 12 so far.