This is Splicer 21 replies

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Schofield VIP Member

om :A

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24th October 2007

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#1 7 years ago

[COLOR="Orange"]Last night on Tinychat, Gran and I asked Splicer what his life is like since he is no longer on the forums. He did not answer, probably ignored us completely.

This is his story.[/COLOR]

[COLOR="Red"]The Chronicles of Splicer: Season One - PBS (Post-Ban Syndrome)[/COLOR]

[COLOR="Red"]This is Splicer. Splicer is a never-nude; this is his life after he was banned.[/COLOR]

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[COLOR="Red"]This is Splicer's mother. She looks at him and has extreme episodes of self loathing. [/COLOR]

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[COLOR="Red"]And when she found out he was banned: she received word from n0e, personally.[/COLOR]

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[COLOR="Red"]This is Splicer's father. He is spending a life in prison after getting drunk one night and repeatedly attempting to strangle Splicer to death. He failed, obviously. And yes, he does take it in the ass from a 35 incher named Tyrone.[/COLOR]

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[COLOR="Red"]Shortly after Splicer's exodus of the forums, he developed a mental disorder in which he needed to dress like a woman. While trying to woo his classmate, he broke his ankle. Because he's a moron.[/COLOR]

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[COLOR="Red"]Whilst in the hospital, some members of his family showed up, including his self-loathing mother. When the doctor told her Splicer was going to make a full recovery, she had a psychotic break. [/COLOR]

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[COLOR="Red"]When the family got back home, Splicer's mother was having one of her more extreme episodes. She told her favourite son that she was going to drink herself to death to deal with Splicer being let out of the hospital in just a few short days. Sadly for her, years of substance abuse denied her the chance to drink herself to death. She was an Iron Maiden, her body was almost entirely alcohol resistant. [/COLOR]

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[COLOR="red"]These are two of Splicer's brothers, the one in the army uniform is his youngest brother, the one in wearing the transvestite clothing is his eldest brother. At least Splicer isn't the only one to be cross dressing in the family (that's probably a side effect of being raised in the womb of an Iron Maiden). They were discussing trying to get Splicer enlisted in the army, seeing as he had virtually nothing left.[/COLOR]

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[COLOR="red"]Here is the Iron Maiden trying to drink herself to death again. It won't work, ma'am. Please don't make that face ever again.[/COLOR]

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[COLOR="red"]Don't give me that look.[/COLOR]

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[COLOR="red"]Splicer is out of the hospital! His younger brother (remember the one in the army suit?) convinced him to sign up for the army, Splicer claims to have got accepted, so they celebrate.[/COLOR]

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[COLOR="Red"]Splicer goes home, and realises he's made a huge mistake. He actually joined the army.[/COLOR]

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[COLOR="red"]So he sets out to commit a crime, figuring that will get him out of duty; and breaks into a blind ladies house. Yes, he's that low.[/COLOR]

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[COLOR="Red"]When his father learns that Splicer will be joining him in prison, he becomes quite upset.[/COLOR]

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[COLOR="Red"]Splicer's father goes to visit him in prison. And[/COLOR]

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[COLOR="red"]His father realises he can't take it anymore, the months alone in prison seemed like better times without Splicer. So he tries to kill himself. And fails.[/COLOR]

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[COLOR="red"]So he begs the family-favourite son to help him get out of prison.[/COLOR]

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[COLOR="red"]So after many days of trial.[/COLOR]

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[COLOR="red"]He's finally free![/COLOR]

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[COLOR="red"]And so Splicer's father, mother, and sister, unite and perform the Splicer-family-famous chicken dance. Has anyone in this family ever seen a chicken? I highly doubt it.[/COLOR]

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[COLOR="Orange"]Next season, on the Chronicles of Splicer.[/COLOR]

[COLOR="Red"]Splicer is out of jail! And quickly tries to embrace his father.[/COLOR]

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[COLOR="red"]His father gives him such a beating, Splicer is sent back to the hospital and his father is put back in jail. This was too violent for us to get an image.[/COLOR]

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Embee

Homo Obnoxius

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13th December 2009

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#2 7 years ago

cool story sis.




Guest

I didn't make it!

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#3 7 years ago

LOL

<3 arrested




Granyaski VIP Member

High as a kite

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29th May 2008

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#4 7 years ago

Dude....thats class!




Ryojin

lolwut?

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8th November 2005

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#5 7 years ago

:Panic:


Disclaimer: Personal opinions still not endorsed by Ryojin.



Schofield VIP Member

om :A

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24th October 2007

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#6 7 years ago

[COLOR="Red"]Next season we'll meet some new faces!=p[/COLOR]




Guest

I didn't make it!

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#7 7 years ago

This is gold




IcePure

Pimp of FileFront.

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30th January 2008

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#8 7 years ago

I tried to deselect the last image.

The story and accompanying pictures was cool too, I guess.




Schofield VIP Member

om :A

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24th October 2007

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#9 7 years ago

[COLOR="Red"]It's a symptom of not having a job.[/COLOR]:bawl:




SeinfeldisKindaOk

5.56 smoke Haji every day

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18th July 2008

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#10 7 years ago
Obankobi;5565066 <3 arrested

Not as much as Schofield though, obviously. Jeez, fan boy much?