Urgent situation what do i do?? 14 replies

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Authuran

Queef Richards

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2nd October 2005

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#1 8 years ago

Ashley is a girl from my high school. I'm engaged to someone and joining the army once I get out but just yesterday I found out Ashley has apparently "loved me" since freshmen year :wtf: when I sang Land of Confusion at the school talent show and received a standing ovation, followed by crazy sex.

Now, once she discovered that I proposed to my fiancee she immediately revealed how she's been admiring me from afar for years, and that it would break her if I married my girlfriend. I told her to fuck off, because she laid my best friend and they were loud and interrupted my PC gaming. She told me that was the end. I hadn't heard from her until a few hours ago.

She basically lost it and kidnapped the mayor of our fine city with her dad's M16A1. My fiancee called me telling me the situation and I didn't believe it, so I went downtown. She was in the middle of a standoff between police and said if they did anything that would be the end of the old italian mayor. The cops gave me the bullhorn so I could speak to her. I told her that I loved her but only as a friend and that she needs to find another man because this one's taken :smokin:

That pretty much cracked the egg and she only said a few words back right before she moved with her auntie and uncle:

"A long, long time ago... I can still remember How that music used to make me smile. And I knew if I had my chance That I could make those people dance And, maybe, they'd be happy for a while.

But February made me shiver With every paper I'd deliver. Bad news on the doorstep; I couldn't take one more step.

I can't remember if I cried When I read about his widowed bride, But something touched me deep inside The day the music died.

So bye-bye, Miss American Pie. Drove my Chevy to the levee, But the levee was dry. And them good old boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye Singin', "this'll be the day that I die. "this'll be the day that I die."

Did you write the book of love, And do you have faith in God above, If the Bible tells you so? Do you believe in rock 'n roll, Can music save your mortal soul, And can you teach me how to dance real slow?

Well, I know that you're in love with him `cause I saw you dancin' in the gym. You both kicked off your shoes. Man, I dig those rhythm and blues.

I was a lonely teenage broncin' buck With a pink carnation and a pickup truck, But I knew I was out of luck The day the music died.

I started singin', "bye-bye, Miss American Pie." Drove my Chevy to the levee, But the levee was dry. Them good old boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye And singin', "this'll be the day that I die. "this'll be the day that I die."

Now for ten years we've been on our own And moss grows fat on a rollin' stone, But that's not how it used to be. When the jester sang for the king and queen, In a coat he borrowed from James Dean And a voice that came from you and me,

Oh, and while the king was looking down, The jester stole his thorny crown. The courtroom was adjourned; No verdict was returned. And while Lennon read a book of Marx, The quartet practiced in the park, And we sang dirges in the dark The day the music died.

We were singing, "bye-bye, Miss American Pie." Drove my Chevy to the levee, But the levee was dry. Them good old boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye And singin', "this'll be the day that I die. "this'll be the day that I die."

Helter skelter in a summer swelter. The birds flew off with a fallout shelter, Eight miles high and falling fast. It landed foul on the grass. The players tried for a forward pass, With the jester on the sidelines in a cast.

Now the half-time air was sweet perfume While the sergeants played a marching tune. We all got up to dance, Oh, but we never got the chance! `cause the players tried to take the field; The marching band refused to yield. Do you recall what was revealed The day the music died?

We started singing, "bye-bye, Miss American Pie." Drove my Chevy to the levee, But the levee was dry. Them good old boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye And singin', "this'll be the day that I die. "this'll be the day that I die."

Oh, and there we were all in one place, A generation lost in space With no time left to start again. So come on: jack be nimble, jack be quick! Jack Flash sat on a candlestick Cause fire is the devil's only friend.

Oh, and as I watched him on the stage My hands were clenched in fists of rage. No angel born in hell Could break that satan's spell. And as the flames climbed high into the night To light the sacrificial rite, I saw satan laughing with delight The day the music died

He was singing, "bye-bye, Miss American Pie." Drove my Chevy to the levee, But the levee was dry. Them good old boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye And singin', "this'll be the day that I die. "this'll be the day that I die."

I met a girl who sang the blues And I asked her for some happy news, But she just smiled and turned away. I went down to the sacred store Where I'd heard the music years before, But the man there said the music wouldn't play.

And in the streets: the children screamed, The lovers cried, and the poets dreamed. But not a word was spoken; The church bells all were broken. And the three men I admire most: The father, son, and the holy ghost, They caught the last train for the coast The day the music died.

And they were singing, "bye-bye, Miss American Pie." Drove my Chevy to the levee, But the levee was dry. And them good old boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye Singin', "this'll be the day that I die. "this'll be the day that I die."

They were singing, "bye-bye, Miss American Pie." Drove my Chevy to the levee, But the levee was dry. Them good old boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye Singin', "this'll be the day that I die."

You just got American Pie'd.




redgroupclan

is gay.

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16th August 2008

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#2 8 years ago

:lies:




AlDaja

SFC III Troubleshooter.

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5th September 2006

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#3 8 years ago

blah, blah, blah...just do her and get it over with.:beer:




Ensign Riles VIP Member

No! I'm Spamacus!

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17th June 2003

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#4 8 years ago

Have you considered polygamy?




AlDaja

SFC III Troubleshooter.

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5th September 2006

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#5 8 years ago
Ensign Riles;5303481Have you considered polygamy?

...just convince them to have a three way...then post the video.:naughty:




SeinfeldisKindaOk

5.56 smoke Haji every day

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17th July 2008

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#6 8 years ago

tl;dr. but from the title I'll just give you my general recommendation to anyone in distress: kill everyone, burn the evidence, move to New Zealand.




Red Menace

SCHOFIELD DID 4/30

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10th August 2004

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#7 8 years ago

Yeah, I hear New Zealand girls fuck on the first date.


I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Cooters on fire off the shoulder of General Discussion. I watched spittle-flecked posts glitter in the dark near the Pub. All those moments will



Authuran

Queef Richards

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2nd October 2005

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#8 8 years ago

Guys you got American Pie'd it's a new meme pass it on




Dragonelf68

ಠ_ಠ

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24th September 2007

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#9 8 years ago

Fail. I would've had her say something about Bel-Air and her Aunt.


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Sl4sh

UPGRADING TO PRO

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14th June 2006

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#10 8 years ago
Authuran;5303764Guys you got American Pie'd it's a new meme pass it on

New meme my ass, it's a fucking forced meme. GTFO.




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