Shizzle my nizzle
28th July 2004
BREAKING NEWS The boy who lived happily, Barry Trotter, has been attacked by Valuemart. Delirious, he claims that he bought twp bags of carrots and got a third free! Recent reports indicate that Trotter was placed under the Imperial-Scale curse, an unforgivable attrocity punishable by banishment from Walmart Stores, Ltd. We interviewed Trotter's godfather, Serious Bloke, earlier today: SB: "I can't believe that bastard did it, I really can't. I told him to buy his carrots in TESCO, not Valuemart Ltd. Now I can't use my money-off coupon!" News: "Are you happy that Barry is OK?" SB: "Who the fuck is Barry? Are you calling me an asshole?" News: "We'll be right back after this short advertisement!" REVEN.CO.UK - GO THERE TO FEEL SPECIAL. News: "And we're back! Unfortunately, Serious Bloke has ran off, muttering something about 'reduced turnips' in a nearby store. Back to Jim in the studio!"