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MrFancypants Forum Admin

The Bad

216,814 XP

7th December 2003

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#1 13 years ago

Warning: This Product Warps Space and Time in Its Vicinity.

Warning: This Product Attracts Every Other Piece of Matter in the Universe,

Including the Products of Other Manufacturers, with a Force Proportional to

the Product of the Masses and Inversely Proportional to the Distance

Between Them.

Caution: The Mass of This Product Contains the Energy Equivalent of 85

Million Tons of TNT per Net Ounce of Weight.

Handle with Extreme Care: This Product Contains Minute Electrically

Charged Particles Moving at Velocities in Excess of Five Hundred Million

Miles per Hour.

Consumer Notice: Because of the 'Uncertainty Principle,' It Is Impossible

for the Consumer to Find Out at the Same Time Both Precisely Where This

Product Is and How Fast It Is Moving.

Advisory: There is an Extremely Small but Nonzero Chance That, Through a

Process Known as 'Tunneling,' This Product May Spontaneously Disappear

from Its Present Location and Reappear at Any Random Place in the

Universe, Including Your Neighbors Domicile. The Manufacturer Will Not

Be Responsible for Any Damages or Inconvenience That May Result.

Read This Before Opening Package: According to Certain Suggested

Versions of a Grand Unified Theory, the Primary Particles Constituting This

Product May Decay to Nothingness Within the Next Four Hundred Million

Years.

This is a 100% Matter product: In the Unlikely Event That This Merchandise

Should Contact Antimatter in Any Form, a Catastrophic Explosion Will

Result.

Public Notice as Required by Law: Any Use of This Product, in Any Manner

Whatsoever, Will Increase the Amount of Disorder in the Universe.

Although No Liability Is Implied Herein, the Consumer Is Warned That This

Process Will Ultimately Lead to the Heat Death of the Universe.

Note: The Most Fundamental Particles in This Product Are Held Together

by a 'Gluing' Force About Which Little Is Currently Known and Whose

Adhesive Power Can Therefore Not Be Permanently Guaranteed.

Attention: Despite Any Other Listing of Product Contents Found Hereon,

the Consumer Is Advised That, in Actuality, This Product Consists Of

99.9999999999% Empty Space.

New Grand Unified Theory Disclaimer: The Manufacturer May Technically

Be Entitled to Claim That This Product Is Ten-Dimensional. However, the

Consumer Is Reminded That This Confers No Legal Rights Above and

Beyond Those Applicable to Three-Dimensional Objects, Since the Seven

New Dimensions Are 'Rolled Up' into Such a Small 'Area' That They

Cannot Be Detected.

Please Note: Some Quantum Physics Theories Suggest That When the

Consumer Is Not Directly Observing This Product, It May Cease to Exist or

Will Exist Only in a Vague and Undetermined State.

Component equivalency notice: The Subatomic Particles (Electrons,

Protons, etc.) Comprising This Product Are Exactly the Same in Every

Measurable Respect as Those Used in the Products of Other Manufacturers,

and No Claim to the Contrary May Legitimately Be Expressed or Implied.

Health Warning: Care Should Be Taken When Lifting This Product, Since

Its Mass, and Thus Its Weight, Is Dependent on Its Velocity Relative to the

User.

Important Notice to Purchasers: The Entire Physical Universe, Including

This Product, May One Day Collapse Back into an Infinitesimally Small

Space. Should Another Universe Subsequently Re-emerge, the Existence of

This Product in That Universe Cannot be Guaranteed.

I like the one with energy equivalent of tnt.




Mr. Matt VIP Member

#BanRadioActiveLobster

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17th June 2002

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#2 13 years ago

Coool... where can I get it?!




Ashatay

.I.Am.Too.Cool.To.Post.

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25th May 2003

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#3 13 years ago

Important Notice to Purchasers: The Entire Physical Universe, Including

This Product, May One Day Collapse Back into an Infinitesimally Small

Space. Should Another Universe Subsequently Re-emerge, the Existence of

This Product in That Universe Cannot be Guaranteed.

i like that one :-P




M!tch VIP Member

intermittently erratic

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12th March 2004

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#4 13 years ago

Please Note: Some Quantum Physics Theories Suggest That When the

Consumer Is Not Directly Observing This Product, It May Cease to Exist or

Will Exist Only in a Vague and Undetermined State.

now wheres my pen?


Thinking about it.



Ashatay

.I.Am.Too.Cool.To.Post.

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25th May 2003

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#5 13 years ago

i stole it, see now u werent looking, so u didnt see me take it. right? eh? eh? no? aww :(




M!tch VIP Member

intermittently erratic

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12th March 2004

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#6 13 years ago

how could i see you if i wasnt looking as i wasnt looking?


Thinking about it.



Ashatay

.I.Am.Too.Cool.To.Post.

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25th May 2003

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#7 13 years ago

you didnt, thats my whole point.... duh.... geez.. my love for you is fading...

:-P jp