Awards for Me.. Awards for You... -1 reply

Please wait...

AzH

I'm too cool to Post

269,650 XP

17th September 2003

0 Uploads

24,050 Posts

0 Threads

#191 17 years ago

i've changed my mind. you cannot have one.

have you all seen or heard of "The Darwin Awards"? Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it. this is an example:

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(7 March 2002, Colorado) When Gerald was pulled over by police for erratic driving, he decided it was better to flee from the stolen car on foot, rather than face possible jail time for a parole violation. This was the first of two successive mental lapses. Gerald’s actual thoughts are unknown, but *may* have been something like this: "The officers are only suspicious and alert now... I’ll make them hot, sweaty, tired, and angry by leading them on a wild chase through dark alleys and fields." During the subsequent foot chase, Gerald attempted to dissuade officers from the pursuit by firing a 9mm Ruger semiautomatic handgun blindly over his shoulder. This was the second illustration of a potential mental deficiency. "Officers are running behind me. They have guns. I have a gun! They have eyes in the front of their heads, so they can see to aim at me. I don't have eyes in the back of my head, so I’ll fire wildly behind me and see what happens!"

Unfortunately, Gerald appears to have been one of those folks who can't chew gum and walk at the same time. Or at least he couldn’t flee and fire at the same time. While discharging the weapon over his shoulder, Gerald managed to shoot himself in the head with his own gun, bringing the chase to a sudden conclusion.

Four shots were fired, none by the officers, who found Gerald's pistol next to his fallen body. Gerald was transported to a local hospital where he expired the following day, thus removing a set of genes deficient in both judgment and coordination from the gene pool.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

visit THE DARWIN AWARDS for more funny/bad taste deaths.... :p




AegenemmnoN Advanced Member

The cream of the crop

228,590 XP

20th August 2003

0 Uploads

21,534 Posts

0 Threads

#192 17 years ago

sheep gets the "am i n00bi3 mod, hear me ROAR!!!" and "i complained until i got an award" award Aeg




AegenemmnoN Advanced Member

The cream of the crop

228,590 XP

20th August 2003

0 Uploads

21,534 Posts

0 Threads

#193 17 years ago

heres my all time fav ;) The Arizona Highway Patrol were mystified when they came upon a pile of smoldering wreckage embedded in the side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of a curve. The metal debris resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it turned out to be the vaporized remains of an automobile. The make of the vehicle was unidentifiable at the scene.

The folks in the lab finally figured out what it was, and pieced together the events that led up to its demise.

It seems that a former Air Force sergeant had somehow got hold of a JATO (Jet Assisted Take-Off) unit. JATO units are solid fuel rockets used to give heavy military transport airplanes an extra push for take-off from short airfields.

Dried desert lakebeds are the location of choice for breaking the world ground vehicle speed record. The sergeant took the JATO unit into the Arizona desert and found a long, straight stretch of road. He attached the JATO unit to his car, jumped in, accelerated to a high speed, and fired off the rocket.

The facts, as best as could be determined, are as follows:

The operator was driving a 1967 Chevy Impala. He ignited the JATO unit approximately 3.9 miles from the crash site. This was established by the location of a prominently scorched and melted strip of asphalt. The vehicle quickly reached a speed of between 250 and 300 mph and continued at that speed, under full power, for an additional 20-25 seconds. The soon-to-be pilot experienced G-forces usually reserved for dog-fighting F-14 jocks under full afterburners.

The Chevy remained on the straight highway for approximately 2.6 miles (15-20 seconds) before the driver applied the brakes, completely melting them, blowing the tires, and leaving thick rubber marks on the road surface. The vehicle then became airborne for an additional 1.3 miles, impacted the cliff face at a height of 125 feet, and left a blackened crater 3 feet deep in the rock.

Most of the driver's remains were not recovered; however, small fragments of bone, teeth, and hair were extracted from the crater, and fingernail and bone shards were removed from a piece of debris believed to be a portion of the steering wheel.

Ironically a still-legible bumper sticker was found, reading "How do you like my driving? Dial 1-800-EAT-SHIT."
Aeg



SSJ_SaGE_980

im calling the police

50 XP

18th July 2003

0 Uploads

2,020 Posts

0 Threads

#194 17 years ago

awards for me .....please?




Sheepeep Advanced Member

weirdal = new ptaq()

31,600 XP

2nd September 2003

0 Uploads

2,948 Posts

0 Threads

#195 17 years ago

how about "only person to include themselves on their own buddy list" award [edit]because you deserve it more than anyone :lol:[/edit]




Fezarella

Lacoste

50 XP

17th December 2002

0 Uploads

6,610 Posts

0 Threads

#196 17 years ago

lol at least he will always have a buddy lol




JP(NL)

Flying Dutchman

50 XP

28th April 2003

0 Uploads

8,315 Posts

0 Threads

#197 17 years ago

... I tought I was the only schizophrenic around here:uhm:




Fezarella

Lacoste

50 XP

17th December 2002

0 Uploads

6,610 Posts

0 Threads

#198 17 years ago

you now have a new schizophrenic friend to go schizo with :lol:




Guest

I didn't make it!

0 XP

 
#199 17 years ago

And mabye he will have another friend :lol:




JP(NL)

Flying Dutchman

50 XP

28th April 2003

0 Uploads

8,315 Posts

0 Threads

#200 17 years ago

..... well... it's good to no I'm not the only mentaly challanged person on gf:)