Posted on June 9, 2010, Ron Whitaker Valve Announces Portal 2 to Ship in 2011
All the hoopla generated by Valve for E3 this year has been something to watch. There’s been speculation on Half-Life 2 Episode 3, Half-Life 3, and Source Engine 2. Fake images have fueled some of this, and there’s been speculation all over the map.
Now, we’ve just received another email from Aperture Science announcing that Portal 2 is now targeted for a 2011 release date. To prove that this announcement isn’t THAT big a deal, they say,
“even though Portal 2 will arrive slightly later than planned, all life on earth won’t instantaneously stop as every molecule in your body explodes at the speed of light, which is what would happen should a rip ever appear in the fabric of Valve Time.”
If you’ve not familiar with Valve Time, allow me to direct your attention to this helpful wiki article on Valve’s website.
They also address all the speculation on Valve’s E3 “surprise,” referring to it as,
“the previously announced E3 ***PORTAL-2-THEMED-FOR-GOD’S SAKE*** surprise”
Isn’t E3 speculation fun? We’ll have details from E3 for you next week.
Check out the full email after the break
June 9, 2010 — Aperture Science, doing business as Aperture Laboratories LLC, in partnership with Valve today announced the successful completion of an ethics-review-panel-supervised release date restructuring process. Portal 2, the sequel to the ground-breaking title that earned over 30 Game of the Year awards despite missing its original ship date, is now targeted for a 2011 release.
Representatives from both companies acknowledged that public safety concerns factored into the decision. They went on to say that even though Portal 2 will arrive slightly later than planned, all life on earth won’t instantaneously stop as every molecule in your body explodes at the speed of light, which is what would happen should a rip ever appear in the fabric of Valve Time.
“Also, the game will be even better,” they added, missing an historic opportunity to create the first product delay press release to mention that a product is being delayed to make it worse.
To ask questions about how close we all came to dying, or to ask futile questions about the previously announced E3 ***PORTAL-2-THEMED-FOR-GOD’S SAKE*** surprise or, less futilely, to schedule an appointment to attend a Portal 2 screening at the Valve booth during E3, please contact Valve’s delegate to the EU’s Valve Time Studies Group.