Weekly Poll Results - Death Star just blew up, and you're to blame. What's your

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Death Star just blew up, and you're to blame. What's your excuse?

I told you to save before the battle, Emperor! 21.8% (549)
I was off-duty at the time, sir. 15.2% (382)
Er... uh... ah... the gonk did it! 13.4% (338)
I have a better one.... 11.7% (295)
"The Rebels used a Gameshark, y'see...." 11.5% (289)
We were busy playing MGS4! 7.7% (194)
Wait That was just the July 4th fireworks display! 7.2% (183)
Hey, Darth. I bought you a Camaro. Forgive me? 6% (151)
Mr Vader, you imagined it. 5.1% (129)
Total: 2510
Start: 06-15-2008 22:15
Last: 06-23-2008 19:19

 #1 - Posted by: Kouen (Staff) on 06-15-2008 at 22:18

Okay, note to self, don't use quotes on polls in future. Well, I'll just fix them when it's time to do the news article. This poll should sort out those who are witty enough to survive, from those who'd get executed. Muhahahaha!

 #2 - Posted by: Venix (Member) on 06-15-2008 at 23:12

Its a gonk, definitely a gonk

 #3 - I have a better one... - Posted by: unifermiusmatty (Member) on 06-16-2008 at 00:51

A bunch of stupid teenagers blew it up.

 #4 - Better one... - Posted by: Jedi_Sabrina (Member) on 06-16-2008 at 02:00

"Uhh... sir, you were shooting your Lightning bolts too close to the main reactor." :D

 #5 - I have a better one - Posted by: Valonqar (Member) on 06-16-2008 at 03:16


 #6 - Posted by: Rey17 (Member) on 06-16-2008 at 04:46

wooooow !!!! that was cool !!! i never knew that pressing the button to turn on my computer would do such a thing !!!! MUHAHAHAHAAHAH, i feel the dark side approaching, Feeling of stupid pranks, cool prank ideas coming to mind !!! (changed into the evil teenager who wants reign death on everything !!!) the last part has no point but anyway !!

 #7 - I have a better one - Posted by: Hudaw (Member) on 06-16-2008 at 05:19

Go for the Blue Harvest thing..... The WHOLE discussion on the airshaft "OK, so we're going going to take care of that airshaft, right?" "Sure, if price is no object" "uhhhh................" "We'll get estimates..." "Yes yes get estimates....yeahyeahyeahyea right.

 #8 - Posted by: LeaNikkaya (Member) on 06-16-2008 at 05:39

"Well, then you shouldn't be so stupid to let a woman at the helm. You know we can't drive." :lol: (and trust me, i can't drive.)

 #9 - Posted by: Jedi_Mediator (Member) on 06-16-2008 at 06:02

- "You could've listened to the Gecko, Darth. Y'know, just thirty minutes could save you 30% or more in building your new one." - "Mr. Vader, we were all too busy covering our ears from Han Solo's victory scream! - "Mr. Vader, it's not our fault. The Force is NOT with US!"

 #10 - Made by NASA - Posted by: DDrom (Member) on 06-16-2008 at 06:25

Ummm it was Probably Made by Nasa,,,,,, all those parts supplied by the lowest tender... Meh it was bound to blow up.. :p

 #11 - Better one... - Posted by: rattler20200 (Member) on 06-16-2008 at 07:39

Um sir... the Rebels had help from the Terran Confederation, the Earth Alliance, the UNSC, the United Federation of Planets... long story short, we were outgunned and we got owned.

 #12 - Posted by: darth_binks44277404 (Member) on 06-16-2008 at 08:51

Should have saved! Some more possibility's: "That's what you get for installing Windows Vista on the main system!" "Who let the gungan drive?!" "You shouldn't have let the wookie win..." "I think we needed a bigger laser." And I could go on and on, but let's not get into that now.

 #13 - Posted by: Klinger14 (Member) on 06-16-2008 at 09:11

"That's what you get for installing Windows Vista on the main system!" Tru!

 #14 - Posted by: minime891 (Member) on 06-16-2008 at 09:23


 #15 - Posted by: mwDuffman (Member) on 06-16-2008 at 12:14

Those all suck...

 #16 - Better One - Posted by: Tulak_Hord (Member) on 06-16-2008 at 14:06

Vader: I'm going to kill you if you don't tell me why the hell the Deathstar blew up! Me: Calm down sir, you see, there was this dude, named Toby Alphonse, the needy agoraphobic Stormtrooper. He was talking with his buddy, Angry Bob at the Deathstar Bar. Bob got drunk and decided he had to use the bathroom. Chiss told him that it was down the hall, to the right, 2nd door. Bob went down the hall, to the right, and opened the 3rd door, and fell into space.* So then, Toby falls into deep depression. He moans and complains. He lets the Rebels in. He flips of the Emperor, and he had an affair with........never mind. (Princess Leia! Don't tell Luke or Han!) So, like Grand Moff Tarkin is about to blow up Yavin 4 when Toby comes in the room, and spouts out all of the obscenities he knows at Tarkin. Tarkin turns on the laser and punches Toby in the face. Toby is, like, uhm, really mad. So him and Tarkin start like, beating the crap ot of each other. Toby slams into the laser controls and reflects it back into the Death Star. KABOOM! Vader: How do you know that? Me: I was there. Vader: Then how come you're still alive? Me: Well, there's this thing called physician assisted suicide and......I lived Vader: What the heck does that have to do with anything. Me: Congrats, you've won a new Ford Fusion! Vader: Shut the heck up Tulak. Tarkin and Toby would like to have a word with you. In a dark room. A very dark room. Me: But they died. Vader: O rly? I go into room. I hear a clicking noise. Toby: Mr. (hic) Anderson (hic) welcome back. (hic) We (hic) missed you. (hic) Me: Oh you like the Matrix eh? It's good because Neo and Trinity, you know they're cool. Morpheous is like, so awesome and blah blah blah blah blah blah yada yada yada. BANG! They killed me because I talked too much. Did I mention it was my fault the Deathstar went bye bye? The End *Names, a few jokes, and ideas were taken from the wonderful comic strip, "Pearls Before Swine" Wirtten by the talented: Stephan Pastis

 #17 - Other answer - Posted by: GrimmPHANTOM (Member) on 06-16-2008 at 15:19

Vader: I have you now. You have destroyed the deathstar installation. Me: Uh... Mabey your wrong. Vader: I find your lack of faith disturbing. Me: Forget this I'm just gonna leave. Vader: Then may the force be with you. Me: WTF!? You don't say that yoda does. Vader: well Yippee-ki-yay, mother f***er. Me: OK, now thats from Die Hard!??? Vader: STOP MESSING UP MY QUOTES!!!! Vader loses temper and chokes me to death.

 #18 - cont - Posted by: GrimmPHANTOM (Member) on 06-16-2008 at 15:49

Vader stands over my dead body as a stormtrooper walks by with a bag. Vader: Hey man whats in the bag? Stormie: Did you see Dirty Harry too?? Vader: Shut up and help me carry this body. leave the gun take the cannoli. Stormie: wait thats from the godfather. Vader thinks to himself "Blast, they're all on to my plot to misuse quotes from other films" Stormie: Are you all right? Vader: Time to escape. Prepare for ludacrous speed. Stormie: Now thats from spaceballs Vader disapears in a flash of multicolered light. Stormie:Holy s**t they've gone to plaid

 #19 - lul - Posted by: Dean_Winchester (Member) on 06-16-2008 at 16:13

vader i would like to isue a formal complaint on the constructor of the death star for putting a hole with a "blow up" button in the center of a shaft leading to the death star also luke haxed. his missle turned.

 #20 - Posted by: JediRob0078 (Member) on 06-16-2008 at 16:19

WAIT! I knew you would be mad... so... I bought you a Sithish red and black Camero, Vader... W-wait... *choking* H-here's the keys... *gasps for air* Um... but... I guess this is a bad time to ask for a raise in my allowance... *POW* Vader: You allowed the Death Star be blown up... bribe me with a... nice... OH! Is that an XMI radio?!?! *ahem* Pray this doesn't happen again, I am not as forgiving as the Emperor... JediRob: OH, thank you, sir! Vader: Also... the answer is... NO! put I'll let you ride in my car! :)

 #21 - Posted by: Puppet_Master (Member) on 06-16-2008 at 16:30

*scene opens up with Vader and Puppet Master drinking coffee at Starbucks* The rebels used a gameshark, duh. They activated the infinite shields and all weapons cheats. Also, they activated stormtroopers in bikinis, but we won't get to that subject. *a stormtrooper walks by and some construction guys start saying the dumbest things known to man. an x-wing flies by and honks its horn* Vader gets frustrated and K.O.'s the nearest guy in sitting in there. Oh the benifits of being a famous movie star, you never get caught. In fact, the guy made a mold of Vader's fist-print in his face, made a replica of it and sold it on eBay for 1,000,000 dollars.

 #22 - Posted by: Shads (Member) on 06-16-2008 at 16:31

Force Persuade: There was no Death Star.

 #23 - Posted by: Puppet_Master (Member) on 06-16-2008 at 18:44

lol, nice one. But Vader's not simple-minded. Quote "The Jedi Mind Trick only works on the simple-minded....."-Ben Kenobi

 #24 - Posted by: GrizzlyBear1972 (Member) on 06-16-2008 at 22:21

Dark helmet pushed the self destruct button!!

 #25 - Posted by: 2Link (Member) on 06-16-2008 at 22:54

too busy playing MGS4 ^_^ on my 4th time now! woo!

 #26 - TWAS THE RABBIT - Posted by: Ronin93 (Member) on 06-17-2008 at 01:02

Excuse: umm.....you see vadedawg, there was this evil killer rabbit....that hopped out from under an asteroid and bit into the deathstar, and proceeded to eat it. It turns out the rebels had kidnapped it from another movie called "monty pythonand the holy grail". Vader: Where is this "killer rabbit" you speak of...?? *sudden blur + wonky camera angles* Vader topples and there's a white rabbit biting his neck with SHARP POINTY TEETH O_O Pulls out holy handnade and blows it up...AND>>> well..you won't find out the ending because as i writer....i am going on strike..., and partially because i lost my train of thought...

 #27 - Better one - Posted by: leader123 (Member) on 06-17-2008 at 03:16

Death star soldier1: Ooooh what's this button do? Death star soldier2: DON'T TOUCH IT! *boom!*

 #28 - Posted by: Jonny2199 (Member) on 06-17-2008 at 03:37

"Everything's under control, situation normal." "What happened?!" "Ah, we had a slight, er, weapons malfunction, but, er, everything's perfectly alright now, we're fine, we're all fine here, now, thank you. How are you?" "We're sending a squad up." "Uh, negative, negative, we have a, er, reactor leak here now. Just give us a few minutes to lock it down. Largely very dangerous." "Who is this? What's your operating number?" Well, someone had to say it.

 #29 - A better one - Posted by: Maurox (Member) on 06-17-2008 at 05:53

"Remember, remember the fifth of november, torpedoes, X-wings and plot..."

 #30 - Posted by: Denariax (Member) on 06-17-2008 at 06:29

'Hehe, you think THAT'S an explosion? Wait till you buy a new Death Star!'

 #31 - Posted by: Lord_Nosferatu_Alucard (Member) on 06-17-2008 at 06:43

me: ITS AN ILLUSION! *starts mindtricking vader :p*

 #32 - better one - Posted by: Show_No_Tears (Member) on 06-17-2008 at 07:51

To vader: "uhh... you did it."

 #33 - Yay Monty Python - Posted by: Caelum (Member) on 06-17-2008 at 08:24

"Uhhh...Lord Vader...that was nothing really. How about some entertainment? And now for a man putting a tape recorder up Darth Vader's nose as I run off!"

 #34 - I think I've a better one... - Posted by: Thewolfyy (Member) on 06-17-2008 at 09:53

Officer :Meh, Mr. Vader. It's Rosh. Vader: Muhahahahaahhaaha ! Officer : Muhahahahhahhahahaha ! What ?? Vader : It's not rosh. It's me. *He takes away his mask* Officer : NO IT'S ROSH ! Rosh : Rosh ? i'm not rosh ! *Vader comes* Officer : You will not deceive me! *He takes a pistol and kill Vader.*

 #35 - Posted by: A_L_I_E_N (Member) on 06-17-2008 at 10:43

Erm... IT WAS MEEE!!!!!!!!! :lol:

 #36 - Posted by: alias5 (Member) on 06-17-2008 at 12:08

Vader: What's your explanation for your disobedience? Me: Ermm.... uh... Look over there! *while he's turned back to me I put a note on hi sback "Kick me" and when stormtroopers start to kick him I can run away. Huray!*

 #37 - Better One - Posted by: GenralHammond (Member) on 06-17-2008 at 12:27

"Ty Pennington better do a damn good job on the new Deathstar!"

 #38 - Posted by: Drink_meh (Member) on 06-17-2008 at 12:41

"Whos they?!" "What the hell is an Aluminum Falcon?!"

 #39 - JEDI MIND TRICK - Posted by: Sniper_Shot (Member) on 06-17-2008 at 13:06

(Uses a Jedi mind trick lvl 10) Therever was a death star. (Waves Hand). Oh wait it only works on the weak minded? Shoot... Well... EM..um..so..and...well..Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi...please... OK fie i'll jut spawn a episode 6 luke to keep vader occupied while i take the last shuttle for a joy ride to the far side of the system.

 #40 - I have a better one. - Posted by: Test_Subject (Member) on 06-17-2008 at 14:24

There was an explosion? :eek:

 #41 - Posted by: Dragonkin (Member) on 06-17-2008 at 15:00

Next time, tell youre technicians not to use Windows 2.0 on the main computer... Honestly we couldnt do ANYTHING up here

 #42 - I should've used this one - Posted by: Puppet_Master (Member) on 06-17-2008 at 15:20

Ummm, Vader. You still use dial-up on the Death Star's defense mainframe. Come on dude, at least use DSL. If you had DSL, you could've loaded up the defenses before Red 5's missle got to the blow up button. By the way, why the heck did you put a blow up button in a giant space station. BTW, what's up with you guys and killing. It's not very funny. And it doesn't lead to any making of sense.

 #43 - luke haxed - Posted by: Dean_Winchester (Member) on 06-17-2008 at 16:36

i know i said this once but i found the idea very funny so yes i will say it again... luke haxed. his missle turned.

 #44 - better one XD - Posted by: DarthHK (Member) on 06-17-2008 at 19:51

Me: Well, Lord Vader that's what you get for wasting your time with a Nazi. Vader: Wait, how did you know she was a Nazi? Me: Um... well she talks in her sleep. I didn't trust her. come on how long did you guys think this was gonna last without a last crusade reference? :p

 #45 - A better one - Posted by: Mkem (Member) on 06-17-2008 at 21:35

The radio operator did it with his AR3, don't blame me.

 #46 - I have a better one... - Posted by: New_Delta_38 (Member) on 06-18-2008 at 04:14

You ordered us to blow it up, Emperor.

 #47 - Posted by: DarthHK (Member) on 06-18-2008 at 04:44

wait wait... screw my first post i thought of a much better one Me: I blame all the banthas you brought on the Death Star, Lord Vader Vader: WTF do they have to do with it??? Me: Well milord despite what the eco-friendly hippies tell you methane is not good for the environment. It builds up to a critical pressure point and well, Bob went out to have a smoke and you can see the rest. }>

 #48 - Posted by: IcePure (Member) on 06-18-2008 at 15:10

"That's what you get for installing Windows Vista on the main system!"

:lol: That's most likely what DID happen

too busy playing MGS4 ^_^ on my 4th time now! woo!

Christ, the amount of people that think we actually care is astounding, I've gotten messages so many damn times on PSN it's unbelievable :rolleyes:

 #49 - Posted by: Kouen (Staff) on 06-18-2008 at 15:20

What I find astounding, is the amount of people jacking off over that game. The story's too twisted to be interesting, and while the gameplay's great- wait, what gameplay? Hideo Kojima would've made a far better movie trilogy, than he did a video game quadrilogy.

 #50 - Posted by: darthamolsch95 (Member) on 06-18-2008 at 16:03

It was C-3PO's fault sir.

 #51 - Posted by: Dean_Winchester (Member) on 06-18-2008 at 17:42

i never played Metal Gear... ever o.o i also hate anime... and think most final fantasy fans have obsessive compulsive disorder,i swear if i see another fat person in a spandex suit i will hurl no offence to obese people. just they're sanity of wearing spandex... i judge people by their choices not their physical apearance.

 #52 - Posted by: IcePure (Member) on 06-19-2008 at 08:56

What I find astounding, is the amount of people jacking off over that game. The story's too twisted to be interesting, and while the gameplay's great- wait, what gameplay?

Yeah, I agree with you. I did enjoy that it finally tied up all the loose ends, and now I realise there was actually a reason for MGS3.

Gameplay's good, but there's not enough of it. I guess what I'm *trying* to do, no alerts, makes the gameplay a bit longer, as does Extreme mode.

 #53 - Better One - Posted by: Mkem (Member) on 06-19-2008 at 14:39

Eh. Gordon Freeman did it. *runs away*

 #54 - I have a better one - Posted by: Dark_Stealth (Member) on 06-19-2008 at 16:20

"You see. . It was Darth Malak and his star forge!" . . .. I suck at this but meh

 #55 - Better one - Posted by: Dark_Stealth (Member) on 06-19-2008 at 16:29

srry for double post but i got a better one "You were watching TV , emporer. I told you not to watch that one!"

 #56 - No, I have a better one! - Posted by: afcgrimm (Member) on 06-19-2008 at 19:40

"It's not my fault!!!"

 #57 - a better one... - Posted by: darth_tarbaby (Member) on 06-20-2008 at 01:04

...I thought you said "lunch" NOT "launch"! ...I just wanted to know what the red button was for....

 #58 - I have a better one... - Posted by: Cloudstrife56 (Member) on 06-20-2008 at 07:16

I just started messing around on Super Smash BRos. Brawl and I was in the middle of a 10-stock match. And I was calling my friend over there a baka.

 #59 - Another better one... - Posted by: Cloudstrife56 (Member) on 06-20-2008 at 07:27

I was to busy playing Secret of Mana on the SnemulDS for my Nintendo DS!!!

 #60 - #51... - Posted by: darth_binks44277404 (Member) on 06-20-2008 at 07:46

"i never played Metal Gear... ever o.o i also hate anime..." -------------------------------------------------------------------------- So, what does Metal Gear have to do with anime? Just curious about the rather abrupt subject change.

 #61 - Posted by: Kouen (Staff) on 06-20-2008 at 07:54

Some people just don't like to dwell on a certain point for long. You should see the IRC channel I frequent. Our discussion went from warez, to Gordon Brown, to Linux, to PHP, to beer, to TV, to Sonic The Hedgehog, to how crappy England's public transport is, before finally settling on Pokémon for some reason none of us can fathom - and that was just in the space of fifteen minutes!

 #62 - Posted by: R_Popn (Member) on 06-20-2008 at 11:27

I blame woodchucks

 #63 - Posted by: DarthHK (Member) on 06-20-2008 at 15:31

I blame woodchucks

it's like they say: How much wood, would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck had a nun chuck?

 #64 - Posted by: A_Wings_Rule (Member) on 06-20-2008 at 19:11

(On the bridge of the SSD Executor, the Dark Lord has summoned an Officer to speak with him personally.) Darth Vader: "Petty Officer Uzry, you were the Assistant Architect of the Death Star Project, are you not?" Uzry (me): "That is correct, my Lord." Vader: "Then perhaps you can tell me, why you are accused of being at fault for the destruction of the Death Star?" Me: *mumbles* "Oh great here we go again..." Vader: "Choose your words wisely from now on, for YOUR sake!" Me: "Look, 'my Lord', it was not my fault-" Vader: "I did not ask for denials, Uzry, I demand answers!" Me: "Just hear me out alright? First of all: whats with this crap about 'Who in the Sith's right state-of-mind would put a big HOLE in the middle of a trench?' or 'Who would be more stupid than a Wookie to put a weakspot on a super weapon?" Vader: "Get to the point NOW Petty Officer!" *starts raising his hand for choking* Me: "Alright fine - you know why *I* put that Thermal 'Exhaust Port' there? Because its for EXHAUST! Is everyone too stupid to realize, just how much bloody heat that monstrocity generated? There were actually 52 Thermal Exhaust points in the whole superstructure, but nooOOOoooo! Everyone criticizes me about the *only* one that happened to be in the trench!" (There is a brief pause, Vader's respirator hissing filling the room...) Me: "Is everyone too technically incapable to understand that if no exhaust is ejected from the main reactor, the life support systems and the super laser energy chambers, the station would have blown up from the extreme build up of heat and pressure?" Vader: "Then why was this never brought to my, or Tarkin's attention?" Me: "Noone asked, and before you ask: yes I asked Tarkin's Chief of Architecture about making them smaller and perhaps with bars over it so nothing would go in but noOOOooo lets not listen to *Petty* Officer Uzry!" Vader: "...*rasp*..." Me: *Sigh* "And don't get me started on the crappy shield generatorthat allowed the Rebels to get through, that wasn't my job, that was Commander Pegat's commission... stupid shield full of holes..." (Darth Vader draws his lightsaber and promptly slices Uzry's head off. The whole crew aboard watch in horror, and a resounding silence echoes through the bridge) Vader: *Rasp* ".... That's much better." *Signals for troopers to take away the corpse*

 #65 - But I thought... - Posted by: Bagi (Member) on 06-20-2008 at 19:22

"But I thought that was Halo, not the trench run!"

 #66 - Posted by: The_Undertone (Member) on 06-21-2008 at 04:34

Look, a three headed monkey! *Runs away*

 #67 - I got a better one... - Posted by: Edteen (Member) on 06-21-2008 at 09:30

*mind trick* i am not really here... you are hungry... go cook a bantha burger or something... and have a :beer: with it... Vader: Are you some kind of idiot? ........ Vader:............ Some random person: WAZZAP!! Me: WHO THE #$@$ ARE YOU?! The random guy: distracting him... Me: Ooooohhhhh... ok. *ZOOM!* Vader: You have failed me for the last time! The guy: SEZ U! Vader: *chokes the guy* TEH EDN! :beer::donut:

 #68 - sorry for double post - Posted by: Edteen (Member) on 06-21-2008 at 09:32

Also, I got crushed by a TIE that apparently had a wing fall off... ow.

 #69 - Posted by: Tsubasa (Member) on 06-23-2008 at 00:11

"Tucker did it."

 #70 - Posted by: Cgilm (Member) on 06-23-2008 at 12:40

LOL Tucker did it. I love it

 #71 - Posted by: rattler20200 (Member) on 06-23-2008 at 13:43

Griff fell asleep at the staff meeting again, and missed the part where he was assigned to keep Caboose away from the "Big Red Button" labeled "SELF DESTRUCT". Either that, or Lopez started singing in Spanish to the Death Star main computer. :D

 #72 - I have a better one... - Posted by: rollerboy (Member) on 06-23-2008 at 14:26

Vader: WHAT HAPPENED?! Me: You see, sir, two officers started having a fight in the mess hall, and.... Vader: I ask again, trooper: WHAT HAPPENED?! Buddy: Like he was saying sir, these two were 'aving a lil' fun 'ere, y'see? And then when the whole bloomin' cafeteria's gone bonkers, the nice lil' troopers 'ere try to stop them, and .... Vader: *chokes buddy* Now, where was I... Me: Alright, ALRIGHT. I confess.......... HEY LOOK FLYING MONKEYS!!!!!! *I press button* *boom*:D

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