"Hey, boys and girls! I'm Uncle Dan, and I'm going to be showing you a little slideshow today. Sounds exciting, doesn't it? Well, it is, I promise you. Let's get started! Oh, and Timmy, stop picking your nose."
"As you can see, kids, we're looking at an aerial view of a newly submitted map, Age of Snipers 2. Apparently, there actually was an Age of Snipers 1, but we'll never get to see it, because Mr. Krillian decided not to submit it. At any rate, Age is a pretty big map, which makes sense; you don't want to be sniping folks from the other side of a phone booth."
"Uncle Dan, what's sniping?"
"Later, Shirley. As you can see, Mr. Krillian has used colored lighting to mark the two sides of the Team FFA map. Aside from the lighting, there's really no other way to tell the difference, but that's okay, because if you can't immediately tell which side you're on from the light, you're completely colorblind. (Political note: if you are colorblind, please do not flame me. I like colorblind people. Really.) Timmy, get your finger out of your nose. Next slide."
"Okey-dokey. This is a hole in the floor of one part of the upper platform. It leads to a big boxy room with a giant teleporter. As you can see, only one texture was used for all the flooring in the entire map. Of course, there's always the ground at the very bottom of the map, which brings the grand total to two textures -- three if you include the ones used for the big horn teleport things. Three textures, kids."
"Is that bad, Uncle Dan?"
"Well, yes and no, Michelle. You see, some folks think that maps with only a couple textures can get very bland. Others think that it helps focus the mind on gameplay. It's really a personal preference, but I admit that I prefer variety. Okay, next slide. And Timmy, don't think I can't see you."
"Ah, now we're inside the big teleporter room. I don't know why this wasn't just on the main platform, like the teleporters on the lower platforms. At any rate, when you walk between the horns, you teleport down to a spot right beneath you. Next slide."
"Here, you can see that the brushes used to create the walls weren’t lined up properly. Remember, kids, that if you're going to make a simple map, at least go through the trouble of making sure that all the brushes line up where they're supposed to. Okay, next and last slide. Timmy, I see you. Stop picking."
"Ah, the hidden room. I have absolutely no idea how you're supposed to find this room; it looks like it's unfinished to me, and I don't think it's actually possible to get to it without using cheats, which means that it serves no purpose whatsoever in normal gameplay."
"So what, Uncle Dan?"
"So, Shirley, it's a waste of space! Never include stuff in your map that you don't need to include, as it just makes the filesize bigger than it needs to be. Okay, kids, that's all for this map. I'll see you next time!"
"Bye, Uncle Dan!"
"Bye, kids. Timmy, please tell me your mom is picking you up right after school. Please."
Bot Support: NO New Music: NO New Textures: YES Game Types: TFFA, FFA, DUEL
- Dan "ViperEye" Tennant
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